dance your cares away save your worries for another day let the music play...

For the last few months I have dumped all my plans for a boy and it turned out that's exactly what he was.

A boy.

I guess I need to start looking for men who have their shit together to some degree instead of these lost souls who aren't interested in doing what it takes to have what you want. I don't blame them or think ill of them. I definetly don't have mine completely together but I do own my own house, car and have a plan for where I want to go and what I want to do. I am a major part in my daughters life and happy with that relationship (couldn't be better) and I'm ready to somewhat grow up.(stop laughing dallas and shane! we all know it's impossible for Kareena to ACTUALLY grow up) I don't have any debt other then my house and I have a dream to follow. I'm ahead of the game.

I was talking to D tonight and we decided or at least I decided that the next guy I date if I ever date again, must MUST own his own vehicle. D thought this would be a good place to start for standards.
I also need to be with someone who accepts me and is supportive
to my dorkyness and creative style.

Tall order for such a short girl.

I know I have faults and pit falls. My state of mind is completely clouded and mudded at times but I know that I'm a work in progress and will get that sorted out sooner rather then later. Even if what I'm doing now isn't working I know what doesn't work and I'm not going to go down that road again (or at least do my best not to).

I highly doubt I'll be ready to date again for some time. I know (yes guys I actually am aware of this) that the last length of single-hood was awesome, I didn't date anyone for just about 2 1/2 years. I don't have a problem being on my own, I actually thrive while taking care of myself and enjoying the freedom of being able to just do things out of the blue or keep a plan in check if I want without interfering with more then just my life. I'm the kinda gal who at 3am decides she's gonna re-pot a plant in the kitchen and nothing is going to stop me until its done. Or I had a bad day so I need to go with M.r. to Timmy ho ho's in St.Albert for chocolate layer cake.

Like most people I think I forget to take care of my basic needs when I'm with someone. For instance, the last 4 months I haven't kept up with my journaling and I know that really got me down, or skipping out on a class to hang out with the boy, throws my little bodkins out of whackity whack.

I enjoy being with someone too though. I just need to sort out a few things before I jump feet first into the water again.

Some days are tougher then others but I know once my house is done with renovations I'll be alot happier too. Its hard to live in a constant state of chaos and keep your mind at peace and clutter free. Speaking of which I think it's time for me to go to bed. It's way past my bed time and I have to head to Edmonton tomorrow.

It's a certain someones birthday woo hoo! I hope I get to meet up with everyone tomorrow. I miss you guys so much.

rock in to the beat ya
we took it to the floor
dj in the club
spinning rekkids
backand forth