Monday, December 31, 2007

so usually I take the top moments of the year on my new year blog but it's been a really really really rough year so I'm just going to put awards for 2007 so here goes:

Saturday, December 29, 2007

punch at the darkness till it bleeds daylight


It's early in the morning and I have the worstest headache. I'm super stressed out and trying to handle everything with tact but it's not working out so easily. I've been having major anxiety over silly things which I'm trying to correct my thought processes but it seems a bit more complex then I was hoping. Happiness is in my grasp and at my finger tips even with all the crazy stuff that's going on. I sometimes wonder if I have the anxiety just because I haven't lived a "normal" life and that there's part of me that is about to do anything it takes to have that chaos back. T's going to alanon alot and it makes me think about when I used to go and how in order for me to start making a change for the better I had to let go of my insecurities of being healthy and happy. Life is hard but man oh man is it ever good too. I need to start making forward strides and I know that as hard as it is to wade through this swampy feeling that on the other side of all this is all the rainbows and sunshine I've been craving. I know that my life is never going to be perfect. And I truly don't want it to be. I want to continue growing and I know that in order for me to grow I have to endure growing pains. That's life. I'm just setting out to have more ups then downs. 2008 is gonna be a gooder I think.

Friday, December 28, 2007

sorry I haven't kept everyone in the loop. A's mommy ended up in ICU just before Christmas and things have been kinda hairy. Also I've been traveling back and forth between here and Calgary for everything going on.

I hope this finds you all safe and happy and healthy. I'll write more when I have more time. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

so tired that i couldn't even sleep

ok so I went to bed after posting, for really real no pretendsies, at 4am on the nose, what happens? something smashes to the floor in the living room. AGAIN! this happened the other night and the night before that. There isn't anything anywhere that could have fallen. I go into the living room and in the middle of the floor there's a pencil case I had been using in the kitchen, sitting there as if someone just dropped it there. The night before it was a toy digger that was there and the night before that a set of dishes that were in the sink were shattered into piece on my kitchen floor. Anyone wanna come figure out what's going on here. I'm getting super sleepy and tired of this stuff happening. *yawn* Seriously. I know my electrical energy is silly crazy (I short out computers, and most electronics, I can't wear a watch, I drain batteries) but this is getting to be ridiculous.

so tired that i couldn't even sleep

ok so I went to bed after posting, for really real no pretendsies, at 4am on the nose, what happens? something smashes to the floor in the living room. AGAIN! this happened the other night and the night before that. There isn't anything anywhere that could have fallen. I go into the living room and in the middle of the floor there's a pencil case I had been using in the kitchen, sitting there as if someone just dropped it there. The night before it was a toy digger that was there and the night before that a set of dishes that were in the sink were shattered into piece on my kitchen floor. Anyone wanna come figure out what's going on here. I'm getting super sleepy and tired of this stuff happening. *yawn* Seriously. I know my electrical energy is silly crazy (I short out computers, and most electronics, I can't wear a watch, I drain batteries) but this is getting to be ridiculous.

stinky sinks


Here are some more Christmas photo's Brandon got me a Chia pet just as I asked. :) Had dinner over there last night and watched the boys play guitar hero. I hate playing that game but I love beebopping about to the songs and cheering on "the band" and so I was the "groupie" who just sat on the couch and cheered and jeered and drank beer. Reminds me of Parappa the Rappa. Anyone remember that? I hated that game just like I hate Mario. *shakes ranty fist at Mario and Parappa* Anyways... Dallas told me to go to bed and I promised I would after I cleaned out my sink *it's covered in paint and I can't get it off* but I put so much bleach and paint thinner in the sink it stinks up stairs and I have a headache. YES I OPENED THE WINDOWS DUH! but now I can't sleep. In the great words of liam UGH. (well liam and the backyardigans) So till next time folks keep fit and have fun ;)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

went for dinner at Brandon's it was a good time. Him and Ryan played guitar hero. I love watching them play but I hate playing that game. It just brings back the painful memories of Parapa The Rappa, 'in the rain or in the sno I got the funky flow'

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

watching

Been watching heaps of movies with all the time I don't have. Good ones to check out:

Black Snake Moan (no it's not porn) with Christina Ricci and Justin Timberlake and Samuel L Jackson.

Super Bad was super funny

The interview with steve buccemi

and of course lost 3 is out now!!! woo hoo
I'm so sleepy today and almost forgot to put the garbage out last night. Don't worry Sheila I was fully dressed when I ran the garbage out this week. ;) I'm all set for Christmas minus the tree. :( oh well I'll just go hang at everyone's house and use there tree as my own.

pictures and tabs

so for the rest of you I posted up the photo's from yesterday all of them at my flikr site so if you have a code for there you can see em and if you don't sorry it's full of kiddies and we don't like just anyone having a peer at em even though you're prolly a super awesome person :) there are creepers out there.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

birthdays and christmas








today was really emotional but very rewarding. I had so much fun with the kiddies. Everyone loved their gifts. "oh Kareena it's the best present I ever got" from Abs. I loved it. We had the whole show there today from caped crusaders to cute little princesses to big brothers and grampas.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

picture time





so here is a conglomeration of toys that I got the kids. Lego is for W, Dino for Kjorvan, Ponies for Sarika and Vanity and Polly case (well the case is more for her mom to have sanity) for Abs.
and yes I got batteries :) I went to Sobey's and paid 5 dollars for 4 then when to wall mart and paid 9 dollars for 48!!! oh well.

Friday, December 14, 2007

BATTERIES KAREENA BATTERIES

Well the new year of 2008 is coming and I'm starting to get my lists of goals I had set for 2007 out and checked off. Some I have completed like "getting as far away from J. as possible" and others have fallen to the way (sp?) side, like "eat organic as much as possible." The last one hasn't happend because I really have no where to shop in the Deer for really good fresh organic food. (I'm not talking veggies but everything else) Oh well I guess that just means I have another thing to put on the list for another year like 2009 ;)

I have all the decorations made and BW is coming over to help me set up the tree. I've been really sick from treatments but I have that super cute faerie to hang up so I have to get the tree done. I'm also getting super pumped for the kiddlets birthday party this weekend!!! It's gonna be nice to see Ab's again. I hope she likes her little vanity. DOH" I totally forgot to pick up batteries yesterday *writes on hand to remember*. Anyways I should get back to work on the wrapping of presie's. Have a safe and warm day guys.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Pour vous

I'm sure you've read this in a forward but...

I got this from a friend who wrote a really amazing email to me and I absolutely love it.

There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

You mean the world to someone.

You are special and unique.

Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.

Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Time warp

so I've made the big switch and so far so good. Feeling kinda blah but I feel pretty darn good considering. I'm gonna go buy a water cooler tomorrow I think. I was hoping to go to Edmonton today but I ended up helping out Marla with the kiddies cuz poor Korvy was sick sick sick, which reminds me I should call R. and let him know I'll be up tomorrow instead *makes mental note* Haven't seen him in forever. I think since Mark was living in Edmonton. Wow super long time. Maybe even Halloween when I dressed as a PHD. hmmm. first pic is of me and sheldon and second R is in the back with Marky Mark being a dork.

So who would have thought I'd have halloween pictures up here on December 12th?
I'm hoping to see Bear tomorrow too and Jarrod. I miss my friends but I enjoy being here in my home too. I think I would miss seeing my mini one alot more. I got her Christmas presents this week. I'll put up some pictures after tonight cuz my camera is dead and needs batteries badly. Anyways. Just thought I'd post an update so you knew I'm still alive. It's gonna get cold out here so I may be posting more often.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

faeries counsellors story tellers the keepers of secrets and protectors

after a rough morning a good friend picked me up and took me out and about down town Red Deer. We went to my favorite store to pick up something for Brandon as a treat since he drops off dinner, pepsi movies and makes me dinner all the time. Sun works has the best all time kitchen store not to mention art books and cards. I love it there. I picked up some hot sauce and some pickled tainted olives and habinaros for him. Then we walked over to the Red Deer's best kept secret!!!

The Paper Crane Galeer
5007 50 Av Red Deer T4N 4B2
(403)347-3357

they had the most beautiful faeries and Japanese zen home treats. I loved it so much I ended up buying myself something. The store owner put me at peace with my entire life while I was there. She inspired me and educated me and she even took a piece of me to share with other customers. I loved it. Best day ever! Here are some pictures of the orniment I bought. They also had princess and the pea dolls they were so cute and a little pea in the beds. So sweet.

Friday, December 7, 2007

excited happy relieved and scared.

I'm excited for the babies birthday and to watch their faces as they open presents up and stuff.
I love them so much they mean the world to me. I'm excited to watch A's face open up her little packages wrapped up so pretty. She also means the world to me. I'm excited not knowing what lies ahead for me and that anything is possible at this point.

I'm happy that I have my own home and that I have been able with the help of others get it renovated the way I want it to be. I'm happy with the purple stars in my room and the cute sad penguin on display. I'm happy I have that one friend I can call at 8am and let them know I'm sick or the other friend I can count on being part of the hardcore duo. I'm happy to be me and love the way I am in every way.

I'm relieved that I don't have to argue with anyone anymore, and relieved that I don't have to explain every single thing down to the detail. I'm relieved that I can if I want to sell my house and go on a holiday afterwards. I'm relieved that I have a plan B and C. I'm relieved I made the right choices.

I'm scared. I'm scared that this new stuff won't work, I'm scared that I won't reach my goals, I'm scared that I won't have anyone to argue with when I'm old other then a cashier at the store I always will go to. I'm scared I won't find another place I'm happy to live in. I'm scared of the dark and I'm scared of spiders. I'm scared that I missed something great or looked over a stone I was supposed to turn over. I'm scared I let "the one" get away...

But that is how I know that I'm growing in the right direction. ;)

Thursday, December 6, 2007

outrageous

can you believe that they took Tokyo steak wraps off the menu at Earls? I'm so hurt. It's outrageous!!! Everyone loved them I don't understand. I know they were on the seasonal menu but still. If they are your top seller you don't just yank them off. Oh well.

I've been feeling really creative lately and it sucks that all my sewing stuff is packed up and hidden in the basement. I really need to clean out all the stuff I'm not going to keep from here and donate it. I just feel bad over loading the charity places with all of it. I know they're in over drive right now for the Christmas season especially with all the toy recalls going on. Or maybe the would love them I dunno. I can't wait to be settled in somewhere and start really creating all the stuff that's been swirling around in my brain.

Have you been mellow have you ever shoned have you ever been happy just to hear this song? yes I have and you will too if you like happy hardcore here's a lil link to wheellegs newest cosX
Andy did a great job on it and you'll have to have a listen!

Anyways I have a ton to do tonight and should stop blabbering on. I'll type out a gooder with pictures soon.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

memories of a distant time or last year

Kids Christmas party went really good I think. I had a lot of fun being Mrs. Clause. I have to say that the magician that they hired really sucked. Anyone remember rosco? he kicked ass! Way better then this guy on the weekend anywho,

Yeah I had fun the kids were great, and I have to say that parents come up with lots of interesting names for their kids, makes it hard to pass santa off as believable when he can't pronounce the kids names. We had a good time and so did the kids.

It's that time of year when you contemplate all that's happened through the year and look back at what was going on last year this time, while at the same time getting geared up for the new year and celebrating Christmas with those around you. I miss Marty a lot at Christmas time. I know that the last Christmas we had together we argued the whole time and he worked for most of it and the days that he had off I worked at the video store (in my pajamas I might add)
But I know that both of us love Christmas so much and put so much effort into presents and take the time to really enjoy the snow flakes and stuff. As crazy as the two of us were I still miss him heaps. We went from talking 3 times a day to the rare communication online. He's such a dork but I still miss his messy toothpaste ways.
I really miss Brent too but not in the same way because I still get to hang out with him every so often and we keep in touch via telephone. I call at crazy inconvenient Kareena times and he returns my calls at bizarre aka normal people hours. So it's like a giant game of tag. He too worked for the most part of the Christmas Holidays but again so did I as a diligent retail gal at Staples. I think I am going to pick up a seasonal gig again this year just to put some cash in my pocket for my trip.

I was trying to decide if I should do a tree this year or not, I didn't last year and it was freaking weird, I just didn't have anyone to help (i'm too short to reach the top even with a chair) last year so I have decided I'm going to do one this year for sure even if it means not having a top for my xmas tree.

I start treatment next week so I don't know how much I'm going to be posting on here during. If I'm feeling good I'll try to keep everyone as up to date as possible. :) I hope this is the answer I've been praying for. Take care guys I'll try to keep posting pictures and stuff from xmas and decorating. xoxo

GODZILLA

rulezors