Friday, January 18, 2008

frost on the tip of my tongue


It snowed the most beautiful fluffy snow globe christmas snow today. I know the holiday has come and gone but it was so gorgeous and scenic. The kind you just have to stick out your tongue towards the sky with your arms down by your butt but forcing your face and tongue toward the sky pushing you up some how closer to the snow spiraling downwards towards you. I love those kinds of days....

then it got shit I'll be honest, I didn't waste the day part at all but later in the evening around 5 or 6 everything fell apart for me. The doors I had laboured on for the last 3 days peeled like a freaking banana because of a new coat of paint and then J came in and told me in the middle of my renos that I needed to organize my house. I felt bad but I totally fell apart after that. It went from bad to worse after that and we had what seemed to be a couples fight over everything. I couldn't keep it in I was just a big emotional mess. I have to say it's been quite a while since I've had one of these days. They are getting few and far between but when they happen I can't do anything to stop them they just creep up on me and BOOM> there they are. So now it's like 1am and I work tomorrow and I can't sleep and I feel like everything I had going has fallen to the side, I think I'm just going to lay here and think about the snow and hope it refreshes everything for tomorrow. Thanks for painting and clean up and long talks today guys. I do appreciate all you do for me even if I have a bad day.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I'm late I'm late I'm late.

wow today I slept in for work, and when I say slept in, I really mean slept in. I was suposed to be opening the store at 8am and ended up calling in to work just after I panicked, called Richard, Jon then my mom after waking up at 1:14pm. Yeah. I went to bed last night before midnight. I think I'm just wiped from working such a physical job. Like before standing around is one thing but running all over the store and up and down the ladders is another. Oh well. I can't complain. They were really good about everything. They just laughed at me and teased me lots when I finally dragged my ass in.

After work I got to have some retro moment with paradise hotel re runs. I miss watching that with dallas and a jar of pickles that I would eat and drink :) his mommy is so good to me. <3 I also got to rock out a shower with some awesome minty conditioner....mmmmmm heaven.

I've been on a salad kick lately too, I can't get enough greens or water in my diet lately. It's been driving me crazy. Better then pepsi and kitkat I guess though. That was a rough go I tell ya. sugar sugar sugar. So yeah that's about it, I leave for my trip soon and go for Graham's gong show stag on Saturday. :D woohoo. We took bottles back since Jon thinks I squirrel them away too much and ended up with 80.00 so maybe he's right. Richard rocked out a whole two rooms for me with painting!!! so I think we're gonna do the last one tomorrow and the doors then I'm done everything but the kitchen! I'm so excited to be finally done. Thanks gang for all your help.

Friday, January 11, 2008

nutz

so I tried to scramble together the last of my painting only to find that I ran out of carolina strand (sand) paint half way through and almost painted the last half veil (gray) by accident. I dumped a paint tray of the gray into the tray already so now I just wasted that too! It's 12 30 am and I have to work tomorrow and my dad is coming to do the floor which now can't be done because I haven't painted the ceiling or the walls totally. FUDGE! maybe he can work on getting the electrical all finished. I just wish I didn't procrastinate so much and this could have been done last week. Oh well. Good thing I'm so cute or this could be a disaster. I'll post some pictures before and after tomorrow after work.

checking in

so my first week wasn't so bad. i actually had a really good day today in sales. I got a few people tell me I was amazing. can't help but love that. I move all my stuff tonight so I can finally finish up the flooring and move everything up stairs back down stairs and finally unpack and start living a normal-ish life. Wow it started in June and hasn't stopped since. I can't wait to sit back and relax. two weeks left till my trip to the dominican. I'm so looking forward to it now that it's almost here. Have a super duper day guys! and Allison you've been on my mind lately hit me up with some chickchat soon :) <3

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. I've got so many things running through my head. I really need to get these renovations done so I can start work on all the projects I have in my brain. I have so much to get done and it just seems like this is taking forever. I just wish there was an end in sight so I could at least antisipate an end to this chaos called my home. My brain is going in overdrive with trying to figure everything out that I can do. I have so many projects that need to be picked up and finished and started and sent out. I just don't have the umpf to finish half of them because of the chaotic state my home is in. I want to clean house in my head, home and heart but the suffocation of impending doom of crud in here is just overwhelming my whole train of thought.

Hopefully after this weekend things can pick up again. I started back at the big red machine. I really really missed working with people all the time and I totally love it. shhhh don't tell anyone that. things with my friends are going great. A's mom is doing better and I hope will have a better recovery. I'm going to have a bath now. I hope that helps and I can get some sleep. I think what I need is a game plan. hmmmm

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

that was easy

so i started back at the big red machine. it's been so lonely living here on my own. I get so sad at times and need to have that contact with people, make a connection with them and talk to people. I try so hard to just be happy with the way things are but some days I just need that extra boost out of bed I think. I am pretty sure this is going to help. I have to admit I really did miss it and had a great time at work today. <3 (blu)

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

resistance is feutile,

No matter how much I try to resist it just keeps cropping up. No matter how much I don't want to feel or let my heart out and wand

2008's first post

Usually I do a run down of what happened over the past year of all the good things. But last year I really had a rough year and so instead of going through it all I'm just going to leave it in the dust and look towards the future. Things I'm looking forward to are:

Finishing all my UFO's especially Shane's shirts (I have come up with an action plan for this one)
watching my girl turn 4 holy noodles where does time fly to?
Tara's baby nibblet making her grand entrance to the world
Enjoying my time with J & S
Trip to the Dominican
Planning another trip hopefully to Europe
Finishing up my renovations on my house
Still being under 30 even after this birthday
Getting a cell phone
Meeting my roommate
Living an authentic Life of happiness
Painting (pictures not ceilings fawk i hate painting ceilings)
Taking over the world in a global domination style :) (ok maybe that's for 2009)


I'm hoping that A will continue to get better. I think I'm going to go and see her this week again. I hope she's going to be ok. I love her so much and can't stop sending her good vibes and positive thoughts for her to get better. We've been on such a roller coaster ride that I hope we can just coast for a bit and things get better. I've been so stressed out about it. I know all I can do is paint a bright picture and so that's what I keep doing.

GODZILLA

rulezors