True colors

I'm so lucky to have such supportive amazing people in my life. Thanks guys. Love you all.

loving guildwars 2

and i just bought me some boss treads, zombie flats and a wallet to match! can't wait to get them when i get back home from mexico. i wish hj was able to come too but he has to work :( he says next time though and we're going on at least one trip this year some where awesome maybe a cruise. i can't wait! I have major sw00nage going on with him. i love spending time with him and can't wait to see what the future has in store for us.

R2D2 rocks my socks right off

so i found this engagement ring on a few websites and thought it was the bomb! seriously i don't think i want to get married again but if any guy proposed to me with this i would seriously say yes because he obviously knows me so well and loves me enough to get something so amazing made for me. more pics and the video here

so good soo far

lots of neew things like my new keyboard and mouse, new pink rhino for the coffee table, new tires and new game playing guildwars 2 ... things are amazing with HJ he's always surprising me with how amazing and awesome he is. best year ever even with the hard parts things are really looking up for me in my life finally thanks to all my friends and besties who've helped me through this year.

what i want to tell you HJ but i can't yet

hey sweetie,

i'm just sitting at work killing some time so i thought i would take my own idea and write you a note. i hand write and print so i hope you can read my writting ok. i can't believe we only met 19 days ago *i wrote this on oct 10th* i feel like we've known eachother longer. i love that we keep learning new stuff about eachother and learning new things about eachother but it still feelis like it's been years instead of weeks. you're just so easy to talk to and im so comfortable with you. for the first time in a very long time i feel safe. and i guess technically we've known about eachother for years. i'm just so greateful we met again. you definetly add an amazing and awesome aspect to my life  i just can't explain it. you make it so i can't stop smiling because i cna't stop thinking about you. you've quickly become one of my favorite people to talk to no matter what we talk about i just adore our conversations. i've never had a connection like that before. you respect me and acept me for me again i haven't had that with some one i've dated in a long time. you remind me why i love myself and why i love life. thank you for that, you are such a great man. you're sooooooo good to me. we are so lucky to have eachother. i hope you know no matter what i'll always be here for you whatever you need. i'm that way with all the people i care about friends. family. and puppies. i'm here to liesten when you need to talk or vent or express pure joy. to hug and kiss you, give you space if needed and distract you for an hour or two when you need to leave reality (i'm really good at this last one) life is hard but it's good and its even greater now that you're in my world. you have the whole package, you're so smart and handsome, smell good, you're funand you're a great conversationist and an amazing dad. i have great respect for you. my shift is over and now so i will end this note. i hope i didn't freak you out with any of this i just wrote what is in my head from my heart i'm so glad i met you
yours turley

Kareena

david bushell

I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate;
For all the hurt that you feel,
The world is just illusion, trying to change you

Being like you are
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?
But some that do, lay claim
Divine purpose blesses them
That's not what I believe, and it doesn't matter anyway
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last, but I'm still not sure
But what I do know, is to us the world is different
As we are to the world but I guess you would know that

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change;
For all the hurt that you feel,
This world is just illusion, always trying to change you

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change;
For all the hurt that you feel,
This world is just illusion, always trying to change you

dave why did you have to leave me with such a haunting song? i tried to email you only to have it come back to me and now i know for sure you're gone. i love you so much and you had such a special place in my heart private bushell. i would send you a million post cards if they could reach you. you meant the world to me and i'm sorry you had to go. i hope some day i get a surprise email from you but since you're grandfather isn't even answering me i know what that means. just know you were loved by a little canadian girl who laughed at all your jokes and felt your pain and wanted the best for you. thank you for being part of my life.  xxxoxoxxxxxoxoxx