killing time at work

almost 3am and i'm at work again. i actually get a day off tomorrow but i am not sure how that's going to work because i work days on wed. so i'll try to have a small nap in the morning then go to bed early tomorrow night. i'm hoping that my car is fixed and ready to drive tomorrow. it's been such a pain not having it although my parents have been great about lending me theirs. i know i'm spoiled but i deserve it. ;) still trying to come up with a handle for the boy....maybe tomorrow something will come to me. for now i'm at a loss.

life is sw00t

so things get flipped upside down from time to time. it seems as though things come in waves of 3 so hopefully this is 3 and we're not gonna go for round 6. a dear friend of mine has passed in a most unpredicted way. odd how it's been almost a year with guy smiley gone and then my patient and now this gentle soul. i wish it was easier but i still believe that i'm meant to go through this and learn something from it. i've had friends say things like "see what we would go through if we lost you, how selfish is that" but honestly as i have said many times before i just don't see what they see. i know they are all resting from their restless journey to where ever the heck they are.

and yes i'm blogging from work. i can't think of a moment where i've actually had time to blog while. i still have yet to come up with an alias for the guy i'm dating, i had one but when i get to the keyboard it gets lost between the keys and i can't fish it out, and taking the keys off hasn't helped produce it either....*sigh* anyways said boy, gave me a book to borrow and read on my night shift and it's turned out to be one of the best "reference" style books i've read in some time.....forbidden knowledge is a book on how to do things you really shouldn't do. googlez it cuz it's awesome. first person that comes to mind while i read it is scotty2hotty. especially since the opening item is about how to tell if your neighbour is a zombie...af240z also comes to mind too with all this zombie Apocalypse needs. i swear though, (and more then your 4 lettery fun) that this guy is something from the awesomeness that is my bwain. i can't get over how many things we have in common or how much awe i am in with him. if i haven't read a book on his list then it's one that is on my to be read soon list. he blows me away and melts my heart. *sw00n* i'm lame i know. but i don't care, i'm gonna enjoy this.

i've had the best luck with somethings lately, got some gift certificates in the mail from subway, my insurance company that i cancelled with sent me a chq for refund (they thought i would have to owe them 200.00 so SCORE). i've found letters that were misplaced, my gba, still missing the games but it's a start. i found treasures beyond my wildest dreams and my smell (skin musk from bonnebell) circa 1998. things are tough but things are good. i'm so happy for the most part in life. cuz now life is sw00t.

it's freakin 214 in the morning

too much to little and not enough

I'm crazy....I picked up another shift and work way too much.....but I'm hoping all this work will lead to an awesome holiday, hopefully to Kelowna to play some wicked mini golf. But at the same time I can feel it wearing me out. I wish things could run smoother but they aren't. I wish I could spend more time with people I love and care about but I can't. Instead I get to work awesome shift work and spend time with people I enjoy but I still wish it was with my friends and family and handsome guy instead. I have a bit of a game plan and I hope it pans out. But for now I need to sleep since I just got home from work and I have to be back in 5 hours....night night.

Toy Movies

Toy Movies

if that link doesn't work try this one

so freaking awesome I love it...thanks Dmaster!

and now for everyone's favorite game show host

works been super busy lately, we had two patients that passed away after being discharged. one was from my unit and i just about burst into tears when i read that he has left. part of me is really sad and the other part knows that it was only a matter of time before it happend. It kinda hit home with Guy Smiley's anniversary coming up. I miss him so much still. I don't think it ever gets easier, just less raw. My Zeland friend has been on my brain lately and I'm a bit concerned about it. I hope he's doing ok. Anyways everything is great other then my cars not working. But hopefully that will be solved today or tomorrow :0)

I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met

so a lot has happend over the last week. The mini one graduated pre school, which was totally adorable. She let everyone know at her pre school that I was not her aunty, that I was her other mom....so we had a little discussion on how we talk about telling people who I am and how to explain who I am. It was kinda awkward to say the least. Kids are so honest. I love how everything to them is so simple and as adults we tend to complicate things beyond what's actually needed.

I started dating this super hot, amazingly rad guy that I knew from jr high and high school. I can't even start to explain how super wicked he is except that he makes me smile all the time and I've been walking around this world with a big dumb grin on my face for the last week we've been together. I've crushed on him for years and apparently it has been on his mind too....how strange that life picks you up at the perfect moment. I don't think either of us would have been able to date the other at any time besides now. Everything happens for a reason and at the time it needs to happen. I always get the shaft with bad timing or so i thought, but really it was all a lead up to this with it's perfect timing. Sw00t! Anyways I'm gonna have to think up a handle for him if I'm gonna blog anymore. Hmmmm I'll have one in a day or two. =) my favorite thing he says..... "you're my favorite" reminds me of that kate nash song and so does everything else he does. *swoon*

I wish i was you're favorite girl

for the last 6 days i've had this silly grin on my face and low concentration on what's going on around me. i'm completely awe stricken by a certain guy. he's been in my life for so long (since jr high) but always as a lesser known character in person but always been in the back of my mind only to surface and go back under with me hoping he'd resurface soon. we got re connected on friday and i haven't been able to get him out of my head since....he's

cuz you do

I got this song in my heart for so long, it makes me feel so much emotion when I hear it. Boot played it for me when he came home from over seas, and it touched me then and now it makes me think of someone else as well....


I've been waiting
I've been waiting for this moment all my life
But it's not quite right

And this 'real'
It's impossible if possible
At who's blind word
So clear but so unheard

I've been waiting
I've been waiting for this silence all night long
It's just a matter of time

To appear sad
With the same 'ol decent lazy eye
Fixed to rest on you
Aim free and so untrue

Everyone's so intimately rearranged
Everyone can focus clearly with such shine

Everyone's so intimately rearranged
Everyone can focus clearly with such shine

Lost and loaded
Still the same 'ol decent lazy eye
Straight through your gaze
That's why i said i relate
I said we relate
It's so fun to relate

It's the room the sun and the sky
The room the sun and the sky

I've been waiting
I've been waiting for this moment...

I know you wanted to know soo...

I can't sleep I work in 2 1/2hrs and for some reason my face is super itchy.....dammit!

I was just reading a friends blog post about imaginary lines, and all i can think about is imaginary friends. Now working in the type of work I do, I meet a lot of imaginary friends or at least hear and see the

sole soul soal sewal

some times having a normal life is hard for me. i can't explain the meaning of that to someone who didn't know me 5 years ago. before even when i was happily married and things were great and grand, i still lived a fairly crazy lifestyle of none stop action go go go..... it wasn't a negative thing it was just a whirlwind of moving and shaking and no chance to stop and catch my breath. Now I work a little too much, have a house that is tying me down and responsibility....I guess it's kinda like I grew up. But inside my soul it stirs and longs for the days I traveled to unknown destinations with a friend or alone or with whoever I could sucker into tagging along. I want to have the freedom to pick up and go. In 3 years and 3 months I'll have that option. But until then I'm here being a home owner and trying to make the most of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful VERY grateful for my job and my house and my....well not my car, but the idea of my car, and my friends. I guess I just pictured it all to be a little different. I know things never really goes as planned. And I know I've never been one for doing things the conventional way. I remember when I was buying my house most of my best friends couldn't believe I was going to be tied down to one location for 5 years, it seemed like a good idea at the time, normal everyday living....well it's not what I expected it to be but it is what I signed up for. I long for the day I can break free though and travel to destinations that offer more then unlimited refills on fruit drinks and free towel service. The kind of travel that involves me, my backpack and my soul that is a searching. I obviously have some of that to do before the 3 and 3 but I'm sure that will happen without too too much effort. Anyways I've rambled on long enough. I think I need some much needed sleep. night night

bored

nothing really new to blog, i got a tent and sleeping bag to go camping with that's about it. went on a mini road trip to cowtown to get them as they were at my dads, but ya it was pretty tame in the way of my road trips. I've been working a lot and have a lot more work ahead of me and that's good and bad, i'm getting kinda bored with always working and want to go have some crazy fun but i need the hours and would rather work too much rather then not enough. still not sure whats going on with my job but its fun to always be guessing right ?! lol. but yeah i'm pretty bored and need something to shake things up in a good way though.

what's that i smell?

the winds of change. not sure exactly how things are changing but i can smell it and feel it. not anything major or bad just different stuff is on the horizon and i can never really complain about it.