sole soul soal sewal

some times having a normal life is hard for me. i can't explain the meaning of that to someone who didn't know me 5 years ago. before even when i was happily married and things were great and grand, i still lived a fairly crazy lifestyle of none stop action go go go..... it wasn't a negative thing it was just a whirlwind of moving and shaking and no chance to stop and catch my breath. Now I work a little too much, have a house that is tying me down and responsibility....I guess it's kinda like I grew up. But inside my soul it stirs and longs for the days I traveled to unknown destinations with a friend or alone or with whoever I could sucker into tagging along. I want to have the freedom to pick up and go. In 3 years and 3 months I'll have that option. But until then I'm here being a home owner and trying to make the most of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful VERY grateful for my job and my house and my....well not my car, but the idea of my car, and my friends. I guess I just pictured it all to be a little different. I know things never really goes as planned. And I know I've never been one for doing things the conventional way. I remember when I was buying my house most of my best friends couldn't believe I was going to be tied down to one location for 5 years, it seemed like a good idea at the time, normal everyday living....well it's not what I expected it to be but it is what I signed up for. I long for the day I can break free though and travel to destinations that offer more then unlimited refills on fruit drinks and free towel service. The kind of travel that involves me, my backpack and my soul that is a searching. I obviously have some of that to do before the 3 and 3 but I'm sure that will happen without too too much effort. Anyways I've rambled on long enough. I think I need some much needed sleep. night night