plates of soup and pink cameras of doooom to come

so i still have yet to blog about driving the plate of soup around the states with the gso using the pink camera of DOOOOOOM but i'm waiting until he helps me blog it cuz it's always better to get two sides of the story?

i had a pretty awesome day today. it always makes me smile when i run into nurses in the hall and they say things like 'awe i was hoping i'd get to work with you today'. reminds me that i'm not so shabby at my job. plus i had a really good 1:1 with a client that gave me a better perspective on life lately. i really love that about my job. it's the greatest one i've ever had.

a fist full of crayons and a map....

in the spirit of what's ahead in adventures and stories to follow here's a lil preview of what i hope is not to come.



we're going on an adventure!

this made me smile today for some reason enjoy.

smooshed over used pillows and star wars with strings

so i mentioned before that i dog/house sat for some friends...well as a thank you gift i recieved a ticket to go see one of the greatest shows EVER! star wars in concert!!!! basically an orchestra plays while star wars i'm so pumped! and they're great seats and i get to go with a good friend of mine from work too. pretty rad if you ask me. so it was totally worth it.


anyways, i'm excited for it. and now i'm gonna go sleep on my favorite side of my bed and enjoy the smell of a flattened pillow as i stretch out in the awesomeness that is my bed.

good night.
xoxo

thanks SA'00'R

drive boy
dog boy
dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
she was a lipstick boy
she was a beautiful boy
and tears boy
and all in your innerspace boy
you had chemicals boy
and steel boy
I've grown so close to you
boy and you just groan boy
she said comeover comeover
she smiled at you boy
drive boy
dog boy
dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
she was a lipstick boy
she was a beautiful boy
and tears boy
and all in your innerspace boy
you had chemicals boy
and steel boy
I've grown so close to you
boy and you just groan boy
she said comeover comeover
she smiled at you boy
Let your feelings lift boy
but never your mask boy
Random blonde BOY* *sounds more like boy than bio. I
could be wrong though
high density
rhythm blonde boy
blonde country
blonde high density
you are my drug boy
you're real boy
speak to me and boy
dog dirty numb cracking boy
you get wet boy
big big time boy
acid bear boy
and babes and babes and babes and babes and babes
and remembering nothing boy
you like my tin horn boy
and get wet like an angel
derail
you got a velvet mouth
you're so succulent
and beautiful shimmering
and dirty wonderful
and hot times
on your telephone line
ON YOUR TELEPHONE
TO GOD I LOVE YOU
AND IN WALKS AN ANGEL
and look at me your mum
squatting pissed in a tube hole
at Tottenham court road
I just come out of the ship
talking to the most blonde I ever met
shouting
lager lager lager lager
shouting
lager lager lager lager
shouting
lager lager lager lager
shouting
lager lager lager
shouting
mega mega white thing
mega mega white thing
mega mega white thing
mega mega
shouting
lager lager lager lager
mega mega white thing
mega mega white thing
MEGA MEGA
so many things to see and do
in the tube hole true blonde
going back to romford
mega mega mega
going back to romford
hi mum are you having fun
and now are you on your way
to a new tension headache

my little pony

so a lot of you know i've been dieting and exercising since december. things are going well but i've kinda hit a bump in the road. i'm tired of following a diet and my work schedule is crazy and i don't want to hop on the excersise bike as readily after working 9 days in a row one day off and then 11 in a row. not really feeling it. plus its getting nice out....patio season is upon us and that's a huge land mine waiting for me to step on it. i think i'm gonna have to go get new bike tires and a bike rack for my car, and maybe take a stab at roller blading this year. i need to do something. walking for me is boring and well i guess i could start up running again. i still have a love hate relationship with it. *sigh* i gotta keep at it, i've done so well so far. just a bit more to go. i went and dyed my hair pink and purple-ish blue. it needs to fade out a bit. it's almost a bit too purple but in the sun it looks awesome. i'll take some photos tomorrow and post them up. ~*does happy dance*~ also i'm gonna go get a hair cut and i'm sure that will boost me up again for tackling another long work week along with some much needed excersise.

well better late then never

I had this talk with the GSO a week before it actually happened, I broke down and cried and let it all out how much I hate birth mother's day. I would apologize for offending anyone regarding this day but really? it's my blog.

I understand why there's a birth mother's day. (for those of you who don't know it's the Saturday before mother's day, because before a mother there was a birth mom) I understand some people need this day. For me personally, I don't. I am a mother, maybe not a parent, but a mother none the less. In my mind I see this as taking away mother's day for me. I spent my first mother's day as a parent. I had my daughter and we celebrated that day together. Maybe that's why this is all so touchy of a subject for me. I got a tin box with purple flowers on it full of chocolates, I keep all her pictures and stuff from when I parented her in it. I think it's important to honor all types of mom's on mother's day instead of making a separate one for birth mother's. Foster Mom's, Birth Mom's, Step Mom's, Adoptive Mom's, The Neighbourhood Mom (you know the one who could give you heck or kiss your owie better almost as good as your mom but not quite) All moms should be recognized on the day instead of segregating. And for some it's just an extra day to feel a loss or another reminder of pain you go through. I know some feel it's a celebration but for me I feel so drained after the whole event. Again. I understand some people need this day. I'm just giving my opinion.

So when I got a call from my mini one on mother's day it made everything a lot easier. I'm lucky I'm still a big part in her life. I hope that we will always be close and have a special bond that will never break. I love her more than anything in the world. She's my greatest treasure and greatest gift. Every time I leave her when I visit, it hurts as much as it did June 2004. The only difference is I know for sure I will see her again soon and that she's happy and safe and I know how much her super awesome wonderful family is first hand. And that makes me feel a lot more secure and alright on my way home. To the one they call mini, thanks for the special day we share together. And to the one they call mini's parents, thanks for being my extended family and sharing such amazing and wonderful times with you and your kids.

And last but not least, thanks to the guy who let me cry on his shoulder before this day, and spent the latter part of the day making me feel normal and loved, I couldn't have made it through without you. Thanks to my Marrrreee, Brenty, Serfx, DarkKnight and my parents for being supportive this week. you guys are such huge supports for me always.

here's a link to a story of open adoption hope it gives you a glimpse.

I'd also like to conclude, I've never been a fan of hallmark days Christmas, Mother's day, Valentines Day so this might also be where the animosity of the whole thing stems from. I honestly believe we should be showing, telling and enjoying all relationships in our lives as much as possible without having a special day to do them on. So after reading this go hug someone you care about and tell someone you love how much you love them cuz every day we have with them is a super special day of it's own. (i'm done so those of you who hate sappy shit can go puke now)

day one of 11

some days i wish i could show the madness of my red ball thought pattern to you all. it would be super cool if the red balls were glow in the dark and we just the lights out....but i wouldn't suggest watching it if you have an issue with seizures and stuff...i don't want to be responsible for that. i have to say they've been in over drive this past week and finally looking like a handful instead of 5 handfuls. i can live with that. it sure helps that i have certain people in my life that are such huge supports and are always there, even when i'm too stubborn to go to them. thanks for holding my balls just doesn't sound right but thanks?

i've been house/dog sitting this week. i did it to help out some friends but also to get wanting a dog out of my system. i have to say that it's not quite working that way. it's making me want a dog more. but really who am i kidding. i'm never home enough to have a dog. i'm always out, or working, or on the road somewhere. my life is just a tad too busy to be paying enough attention to a dog. oh well maybe one day when i "settle down" lol ...yeah right, like that's ever really going to happen.

went and saw iron man with the GSO last night, it was super awesome. we've been waiting to see it forever. i think it was as good as the first one, but by the credits we both had to pee so bad but we squirmed uncomfortably through the credits because in true movie fashion there was a hint at the end of the credits. I looked for Stan Lee who always plays himself but i couldn't find him, this is a first for me. Dj AM made a cameo. It's sad to think he's not here to enjoy the movie. But I have to say the whole thing was pretty stellar. I enjoyed it lots. but then again i love comic books, going to the movies, and hanging out with a certain hot guy, so really there wasn't much left to not enjoy....other than too many people in one room, the too short of a loop of cinema adverts and the guy (not the gso) beside me who moved around more than i did.


oh btw today is day one of 11.

a message from the past, like time travel but different.

I'm not feeling so hot today, so I decided to lay in bed and read some documents and word files on my laptop I have saved, when I came across this one, it was written about a year ago but it's funny I think I really needed to read it today.

1:59am from: the formertranceformer

Kareena, I have always apreciated the depth of your heart, and your ability to wear your emotions on your sleave. Its easy to be around you, because people always know where they stand. At the same time, when someone doesnt want to deal with a part of them selves, it seems like it may be you thats the issue. When in reality, it is probably not. (Not that I am saying you dont have somethings you may need to work on)

Its easier to say your amazing
theformertranceformer and I have been friends for years and he always seems to pop into my life and give me some kind of direction when I need it most. Thanks for the random late night messages and mid day phone calls.