excited happy relieved and scared.

I'm excited for the babies birthday and to watch their faces as they open presents up and stuff.
I love them so much they mean the world to me. I'm excited to watch A's face open up her little packages wrapped up so pretty. She also means the world to me. I'm excited not knowing what lies ahead for me and that anything is possible at this point.

I'm happy that I have my own home and that I have been able with the help of others get it renovated the way I want it to be. I'm happy with the purple stars in my room and the cute sad penguin on display. I'm happy I have that one friend I can call at 8am and let them know I'm sick or the other friend I can count on being part of the hardcore duo. I'm happy to be me and love the way I am in every way.

I'm relieved that I don't have to argue with anyone anymore, and relieved that I don't have to explain every single thing down to the detail. I'm relieved that I can if I want to sell my house and go on a holiday afterwards. I'm relieved that I have a plan B and C. I'm relieved I made the right choices.

I'm scared. I'm scared that this new stuff won't work, I'm scared that I won't reach my goals, I'm scared that I won't have anyone to argue with when I'm old other then a cashier at the store I always will go to. I'm scared I won't find another place I'm happy to live in. I'm scared of the dark and I'm scared of spiders. I'm scared that I missed something great or looked over a stone I was supposed to turn over. I'm scared I let "the one" get away...

But that is how I know that I'm growing in the right direction. ;)