broked

I wasn't going to post anything about the heart break of the past few days. But I feel like I can now. My heart aches with pain and healing. I know from experience this never goes away but it does get easier with time. I love him so much and care so deeply for him, I know he doubted this alot but it's true. He was my bestest friend and my greatest love. He will always have a place in my life. I guess we were just too different or maybe too much alike? I really thought we would grow old together and enjoy all the things in life that most take for granted. He helped me grow alot as a person and for that I will always be great full. He fixed my lights downstairs, he was protective and kind, thoughtful and sweet, he played with my hair just right and gave the best hugs. To think I will never get one of those awesome hugs again is enough to break my heart in pieces. We argued alot and I know that wasn't great. I hope things for him work out for the best because he totally deserves the best in life. I miss him lots. My friends have all been super good about this break up. Very gentle and have given me space when I need it and have been there to cook me dinner when I wasn't hungry. I didn't even feel this kind of heart break when my marriage fell apart. I remember the night before telling my gf about him and how I had been crushing on him for 7years, and she commented on what an amazing connection we have. I wish I could stop the pain in my heart but I know this just one more way to know I'm alive.

He's definitely a soul mate for me and we found each other, I just wish it could have been a forever instead of a brief brush. I wish things could go back or we could start it all over again. It's at this point when you feel it was better to have not loved then to have loved and lost. But I don't regret our love and our joy that we shared. He truly is my greatest love. I love you dork.