something even hurt is better than feeling nothing

today was just fail.

i forgot my lunch and my phone and my book at home along with lipchap (huge uhoh when you're on accutane) get to work and find out one of my favorite patients that i really connected with (i reminded him of his daughter) had passed away (odd thing was i was thinking about him a lot last week and was going to ask one of the red deer workers how he was holding up) it creeps me out that when people pop into my head like that usually its for a reason. then i found out another patient i really liked on seniors passed too (he was so sick for so long). thank gosh i worked with really great people who kept me going through it all. starburst helped too and i rode home with my mom who let me vent about it all and break down and cry. between all that and this stupid drug making me cry so much and flip out about everything i just don't know. thank gosh again to my boss for understanding how sick i've been lately and how much rest i really needed more than anything. i am feeling better than i did last week but my emotions just feel so raw and exposed. *sigh* hopefully tomorrow will be better.