need to shift my thinking into another gear

I'm the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile; the type of girl who is willing to brighten your day even if I can't brighten my own.

lately i've had trouble even smiling.

i can't stop crying
i feel so hurt
the one person i want to be there for me can't be
i need to come to terms with certain obvious truths
and i just don't even want to
but i will.
i give so much to everyone else i forget to keep some for me.
i need some balance again.

i think i need to start focusing on me more,
and make myself happy again because i'm not sure
what's going on in my head but i've just been so
sad and hurt lately.
no matter how hard i work at getting out of this funk i just keep slipping back.
even work is noticing.
something has got to change.
it could be a few things that have this effect

could be lack of sleep from my work schedule,
could be the accutane
could be relationships
could be the month since its always been a tough one.

i just have to get through this cuz as with everything
this too shall pass.

i just really need to remove myself, even if just for 2 days, out of my life.
i need a weekend away.