You're missed more then you could imagine, but I'm sure on your good days you knew that. You touched so many lives and brought so much joy to all of us. I know you're at peace now. Your soul is strong but now it can stop fighting so hard. Just know you're loved. I'm so lucky to have had you in my life for as long as I did. Thank you for being you.
I keep replaying the last hug I got from you, the last words I said and the look in our eyes as we shared a love so strong and so full of pain. I miss you so much Mandy. I wish there was one more moment I could spend with you. I'm forever grateful that when I told you I loved you so much I could tell in your eyes that you knew I meant every single word of it.
I'll never forget the moment we met and the first night we opened up to eachother. I felt and instant connection to you. Forever being the loyal, trust worthy friend, you always included me in everything and I appreciated you so much. I replay the night before birthmother's day over and over and over, the way you wrote and re wrote and re re wrote your story. I look back and realize that maybe you told us EVERYTHING that time so we would understand this time. I remember when you told me you understood more then I could, what I was going through 2 years ago, and I remember being afraid that you were right. Our stories are too much alike, it scares me.
You're a beautiful amazing wonderful person. Your smile and bright eyes masked the dark parts inside and lit up an entire world with sparkle and light. I miss our late night chats and our ah ha moments. How is it that our hearts feel so heavy when something as big as your being is missing? I understand why, I get that, I really really do. I know that when it's to that point there's no seeing an hour ahead much less a week, month or year. It's selfish of us to want you here so that we can have you, but it's human nature, I know there isn't anything that could have changed this out come....but I am selfish and wish I had just one more hug, song, or word or moment with you.
You always brought a smile to my face and heart when I heard or saw you. We went through our pink and purple phases at the same time, and I loved looking at your photos and sending eachother little messages of hope and love. The world has lost a bit of luster now you're gone. I love you Mandy and I hope finally you can be free to be the cheerful, fun, burst of energy and hope and joy that you truely are. *big smooshy hugs*
I keep replaying the last hug I got from you, the last words I said and the look in our eyes as we shared a love so strong and so full of pain. I miss you so much Mandy. I wish there was one more moment I could spend with you. I'm forever grateful that when I told you I loved you so much I could tell in your eyes that you knew I meant every single word of it.
I'll never forget the moment we met and the first night we opened up to eachother. I felt and instant connection to you. Forever being the loyal, trust worthy friend, you always included me in everything and I appreciated you so much. I replay the night before birthmother's day over and over and over, the way you wrote and re wrote and re re wrote your story. I look back and realize that maybe you told us EVERYTHING that time so we would understand this time. I remember when you told me you understood more then I could, what I was going through 2 years ago, and I remember being afraid that you were right. Our stories are too much alike, it scares me.
You're a beautiful amazing wonderful person. Your smile and bright eyes masked the dark parts inside and lit up an entire world with sparkle and light. I miss our late night chats and our ah ha moments. How is it that our hearts feel so heavy when something as big as your being is missing? I understand why, I get that, I really really do. I know that when it's to that point there's no seeing an hour ahead much less a week, month or year. It's selfish of us to want you here so that we can have you, but it's human nature, I know there isn't anything that could have changed this out come....but I am selfish and wish I had just one more hug, song, or word or moment with you.
You always brought a smile to my face and heart when I heard or saw you. We went through our pink and purple phases at the same time, and I loved looking at your photos and sending eachother little messages of hope and love. The world has lost a bit of luster now you're gone. I love you Mandy and I hope finally you can be free to be the cheerful, fun, burst of energy and hope and joy that you truely are. *big smooshy hugs*
2 comments:
Kareena -- I am so, so sorry for the loss of your friend. For the pain she carried, and the way she dealt with it ultimately. Hugs to you, so many, many hugs. Please know I am here too - whenever and however I can be.
Jen
Thanks Jen, I appreciate it a lot. If I need anything I promise I'll call you :) I went to the memorial and that helped a lot. Still hurting lots but it will get less painful with time I guess, I just have to give Time time, which is the hardest part.
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