yay me

found a journal from Calgary, it was just before I moved back here. after i read it i cried. tears streamed down my cheeks and I had the hugest feeling of relief and empathy for the girl who I used to be. the girl who penned the pain and fear and strength that it took her to move on to a new life with nothing to lose as she had lost everything at that point. No longer do I have to keep make up for hiding bruises and marks, I can wear it because its fun, no longer do I have to clean up after anyone except myself, and no longer do I have to lie about my life and what's going on in it.

I'm so different now, I'm independent, confident, strong, loving, and not afraid of what's to come. I know that I'm able to take care of myself in every way needed and I have the love and support of my family, friends and co workers. I can over come anything.

The past 6 years have taught me that more then any of those before. If I can get through a divorce, the placing of my daughter, losing a child, abuse, losing my best friend and teacher of life, and escaping Calgary I can face anything. I can over come anything placed in front of me. I know life still has alot ahead for me and a lot more loss but I'm ready for it. I came out of it all with a great relationship with my daughter, a new family along with it to love, new friends, new love, greater respect, understanding, my own house, and great memories with more to be made.

I am an independent and confident woman
warming the world
with my contagious and sincere
smile.

I had a co worker tell my mom tonight what a great aide I am and how it amazes him how full of life and experience I have at such a young age. He told her not to let my dream for higher education ever dim because I would be excellent in the field I want to go in. That makes me feel really good. Finally others see my passion and drive to succeed.

it just proves

Everything happens for a reason.