sometimes

sometimes i don't think you understand all that i've gone through. i've lost 3 children (4 if you include the mini one which i mourned but never really lost) . i've been raped and beaten and thrown out like trash. i've picked myself up and i've pulled it together. i've hated myself the way others hate me and i love myself more than anything. i'm fun i'm awesome to be around and i'm strong. i've made mistakes and completed goals. i've set myself up for both failure and success. i put more emphasis on making others feel good and happy than myself (note this too is a mistake). i'm an independent and confident woman warming the world with my sincere and contagious smile. others support me. i'm blessed to have a supportive group of friends and family. i need to get over the past and move on forward to the future that i paint in my mind rather than sit in the present that i pretend. thank you dmaster for making me realize a few things tonight. i love you as sincerely as i should love myself.