pics that i've been trying to post up for the last bit, are finally done, blogger isn't being fail tonight cuz its 4am

kandar showed me this

its pretty rad
it's a site with a 360 video

i can't sleep, i was so dead tired i passed out on the couch and now i'm so freaking tired but my mind keeps circling. i keep thinking of all the things i have to do before christmas and this weekend and so on and so forth. i hate leaving things until last minute. i feel like i should have way more done. so instead i'll post stuff that i totally found on the internets instead.

SO entertained

I hate cable, there's nothing ever on and you pay for a service that is rarely used. What I do love is movies, and the ability to watch a TV series without commercial breaks or having to own a pvr to watch them (i work when all the good tv is on).

Then comes this great invention called NETFLIX

this now allows me to watch the greatest series of television shows ever! RED DWARF, INVADER ZIM (my favorite comic book dude made him and jthm)

not to mention rescue me and a ton of awesome movies, documentaries and kids shows like PINGU!!!!!

i have a hard time going to bed after work cuz there's so much awesomeness on here, and cable has totally lost its shine and luster. (not that it really had a lot to begin with....Diners Drive ins and Dives was awesome that's about it)

too bad my interwebs would cost more if i canceled it. bah.

late night

between bugging someone to start an online dating profile/playing wow/watching a movie and eating a pizza pop i found time to remember how much i love this track....

late night

between bugging someone to start an online dating profile/playing wow/watching a movie and eating a pizza pop i found time to remember how much i love this track....

stuff i don't do enough of anymore

so i've come to realize i don't blog about cool stuff anymore, i rarely blog period but i've lost my awesomeness of posting cool beans kinda stuff...

I'm working night shift again. It's my last shift outta the three that I picked up. I think I might actually apply for the Days Nights full time line....I know I hate days but the money might be worth it. I have some calculating to do to figure out if it's going to be worth it or not and how many days vs nights for the shift dif. Nights I make an extra $5/hr and weekend nights an extra $8. evenings I get an extra 3.50 so for days i wouldn't get any extra, hmmmm. like i said i'll have to do some calculating.

one great thing about night shift is looking up stuff when i get bored which happens ... believe it or not

so I got bored and decided to look up nerdy desktops and found this...it's pretty hawt.




i think i'm just gonna leave this page open and keep adding to it through out the night. =) so enjoy my little random night shift awesomeness....




cool book that's cool

if i had 1000.00 kicking around i would get one of these for the wall when you come into the house

learning curve

i wish things could be easier but then i wouldn't be learning anything and i would stop growing which ultimately would become me not living anymore. i just hope things work out the way that i want to an extent and that i don't lose everything that means so much to me. i've learned so much from all of this. i appreciate my home, relationships, and job way more that i have ever before. although i still do not have any appreciation for laundry. ugh. i know i'm always going to be one of those people who has to learn life's lessons the hard way. i just hope that it's not too late.

picking up the pieces and trying to glue them back together

i've been trying for the past two weeks to post up pics from pure and it's just not working out for me. a lot of stuff hasn't been working out for me. and as harsh as reality is sometimes maybe it's a wake up call to start doing what works again. i start back into counseling tomorrow. i have to start running again and keeping up with my vitamins.

i know i hurt the gso a lot. and it wasn't his fault. i had all this sadness stuck in me and even though he was perfect in every way, i still let it come through and wasn't taking care of myself. he's been so good to me, we've become so much closer in the past few months. i couldn't ask more from him. i just hope no matter where our paths lead us that he's happy. that's all i've ever wished for him and if we could be happy together that would be even more awesome. all day all i could think of is all the great things we've done together, all the trips, all the goofing around, all the secrets we shared and all the cooking we've done. he's my bestest friend and the greatest boyfriend, and as much as i hate losing video games to him i still think he's the best video game partner in the world. he's so talented and smart, he has the biggest heart and i love him so much. i don't want him to move far away. although i know we have to have time apart, it hurts but i know it has to be. i just hope he knows how much i care for him and how all i wish is for him to be happy.

i know i need to focus on getting better and figure out why i'm so hard on myself. i pray for forgiveness and i pray for insight, and i pray that one day this will all be behind me and that one day we can be happy together again. no matter what happens i'll always love him and always leave that door open cuz it's just so amazing. i'm just sorry for all my mistakes and wish i could take them back. i'm terrified where things are going and i don't want them to continue that way. i'm hurting so much and i'm tired of it, i hate that just when people start opening up or getting close i feel so much hurt inside. i'm scared. i don't want things to keep going in this direction. hopefully going to counseling will give me some tools so this never happens again. as hard as it is to say i do have some hope, much more than i have in the past 3 days. i hope things will work out, i hope things can work out between me and the gso and i hope things will work out in my soul so i can allow happiness to be part of me again. so here i go on the road to getting better....

lost book club

http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Literary_works

i think this might be my new reading list

it's a list of all the book in the tv series lost that they have/read/display