Just a titch of an update

 Well things haven't really improved on my eating. I'm still only able to keep down 5% of what I eat so I'm relying on Boost Protein and Protein Shakes to get my nutrition. It's frustrating because I've been trying to talk to my Dr and my nurse and they just keep putting me off until June and July. So frustrating. I still have a bump on my noggin but the scar looks decent now. I don't think the bump is ever going to go down. 

In other news Iwent for the first camp of the year to Miquelon Lake. It was still considered winter camping so an electrical site was only 25.00. It was so beautiful out and the temp was decent at 16-22C out during the day and 2C at night. I went on an adventure to get firewood from this dude appropriately called MORNING WOOD near sherwood park. The amount of wood I got was stellar but the wood when I tried to burn it seemed to have a. lot of moisture which sucked. One of the pieces even had mushroom mould on it. Maybe later in the year it would  be better? 

Big changes for me at work lately. The only two full time positions they have are the two night lines. Leona and I. Well Leona decided she's going casual so I got a new partner Kyle. He's cool. But it's weird not working with Leona all of the time. We were partners for 5 years.Then my Program Manager emailed us that she's leaving which will leave a hole for me as I really looked up to her. The only thing guaranteed is change, death and taxes. 

Abs also spent a week with me which while that seems long it never seems long enough for me. I just love that mini one so much. We went mad crazy making baubles for upcoming markets this year.

Hitting the reset button once again....

HJ and I broke up months and ago.I miss him and the kids but I'm actually ok with it. I wasn't at first of course but now that the dust is settling I'm letting go and getting back to normal. I'm craving change at work. I want so badly to move to Edmonton again. There's just so much more for me there. I'd miss my family and be further from the Mini One. But that would never stop me from driving further to see her all of the time still. I find myself doing more with my friends now. I try to get out a few times a week. Like this week I went to Weird Al with BisH and Frisbee Golfing with Sarah Pickle and Dalt yesterday. Then bowling with Daphne and her man tonight.

One of the reasons I want to blog tonight is because I'm worried about someone really close to me. She found out that she has lumps and they aren't the good lady lump kinda lumps. I'm putting on a brave face for her and I know my blog freaks her out and she doesn't read it so I don't mind writing about this. I'm terrified and scared of losing someone who means the world to me in more ways than one. She's been my rock for years. And now I'm faced with the idea that I might lose the one person who keeps me continually grounded with her rockness. I don't think I'm going to tell anyone about this except for all you people who read this which I don't think anyone does any more. But at least then it's out of my head and into some form of reality.

Gotta make the most out of the little life we're given. I have to say that I've found a new strength and am moving forwards. PS. counselling really helps a lot. Don't ever be ashamed to ask for help. And no matter what I'll always be there for any of you.

finally some pic-a-tures

took me a long time to remember to bring my bag up with the camera in it to post photos. i'd always remember at work but when i get home i just go into auto pilot mode and throw the bag in the same place by my shoes then i have no ambition to go down the stairs and get it. anyways here are some photos i promised the GSO i'd post from our runs through the tunnels at the psych hospital we work in.

top of the tops for 2009

top list for 2009

~loosing my panda bear~
you are so greatly missed
but i completely understand.
love you lots panda

learning about how joffery works
(saved my sanity that night )

my 30th year game and jersey to match me!

driving out for the best milk shake ever and going on the one lane bridge

ab's giving a little biology/family tree lesson at her graduation

finding out i'm going to be an aunty again

playing x's and o's with the captain at 4am on the couch

30

screeching weasel with the super cute one

stitching gutz i <3

my position at work =D

losing the first 5 of many

mcdonalds with jon g.

Elizabeth and Ryan's wedding!!!!!

WOW

meeting ALEX cuz she effin rocks

my piece of snuggle cardboard

late night phone calls from across the pond

paintings

all the hardcore duo moments and hugs

long drive to calgary and even longer walk from warped to the car but a phenomenal day with one of my bestest friends including a nap in the sun listening to punk rock thanks D. hopefully i didn't complain too much on the way home.

blink 182 with murmur and a super hawt lady!

:an's emails

infection figured out!

zombieland dress up with monkey butt

road trips with the gso
especially the last one to calgary, meant more to me then he'll know

night shifts with my favorites

long drives with bosman

last but not least

SW00T

it was a year of ups and downs started out crap but ended up pretty darn awesome.
thanks gang can't wait for 2010!

updaterd

so i got the line at work that i wanted, i also hit my hours for a raise and now i get benefits and that thing called a pension if i make my hours. yay!

i'm hoping now i can have some more free time to hang out with people, and blog. i still think on night shift i should bring in my laptop and type everything out in word then go publish it in the morning when i get home.

also in news i ding'd my world of warcraft toon up to lvl 68 yup i'm pretending i'm going to be a big girl now. it's only taken me forever and a day plus 2. and a lot of help from bosman lancey pants and the gso and kimi and a few others. but i'll make it to 80 eventually! who'da thunk i'd be playing WoW lol.

i don't know why but i'm so bipolar when it comes to christmas. i love the tree, i love the lights(but not the stupid led ones that give me twitchy eyes), but i hate the idea of it, i hate HAVING to buy people gifts by a certain time, and i hate waiting to see what i got and i hate christmas shopping. I don't mind some of the music. But i just hate being forced into it all and i prolly have a bit of bitterness with the whole idea that i don't get to see my mini munchkin open presents. i know that's selfish but it comes up a lot. i see her lots through the year, and honestly if i had the opportunity to see her on christmas morning i might pass it up as it would be too raw and painful. christmas, her birthday, her family day and mothers day are all days that while most of the time i'm ok, other years it hurts. don't get me wrong though, i'm so happy with my life now and with how things turned out and what direction they are going in. i'm so grateful for everything, but that doesn't mean i don't have moments where i slip into the what would it be like pauses. they only last a moment but a moment is enough. maybe i'm a grinch for not LOVING christmas but i promise i'll smile through it and do so sincerely at the parts i enjoy and i won't steal it from you. ;)

and while i may not be counting down till xmas (btw don't worry i will send my xmas cards around valentines day as per usual, sent them on time a few years back and freaked everyone out, so no worries folks) but i am counting down to screeching weasel!!! Dal and i are going and i couldn't be more excited *swoon*

yup yup

Today was a great day, talked to my sweetie on the phone, I'm pumped for our lil mini adventure coming up. I had a great day at work today. I work on concurrent disorders unit which means my clients have a mental illness along with an addiction, one of my roles is to talk to them and help them get the most out of the program. One of my clients is leaving/discharging/graduating the program while I'm on "holidays" before he departed to bed he came up to tell me if it wasn't for me pushing the questions then he wouldn't have gotten as much out of this program, that I made a difference in his progress and he looks forward to seeing me in society all clean and sober and that it was a pleasure working with me on his road to sobriety.

I just about cried. I know I do a good job, it means so much to hear nurses tell me I do a great job but it means even more when my clients appreciate the care I give. I love my job so much and I get so much from it. I finally found my niche. I never thought in a million years I would find my dream job yet here it is. I not only enjoy my line of work, but I give back so much to the community and I actually make a decent wage that I can support myself with. When I wake up I almost always am excited to come to work and look forward to meeting new people and being inspired and inspiring others. Cheezy but it's true. I really do love my job.

too much to little and not enough

I'm crazy....I picked up another shift and work way too much.....but I'm hoping all this work will lead to an awesome holiday, hopefully to Kelowna to play some wicked mini golf. But at the same time I can feel it wearing me out. I wish things could run smoother but they aren't. I wish I could spend more time with people I love and care about but I can't. Instead I get to work awesome shift work and spend time with people I enjoy but I still wish it was with my friends and family and handsome guy instead. I have a bit of a game plan and I hope it pans out. But for now I need to sleep since I just got home from work and I have to be back in 5 hours....night night.

better then the L word

It's that time of year that everyone seems to hate. Tax time. For the first time EVER I did my own taxes by hand with a pen, pencil, eraser and calculator. I can understand why it's frustrating to do them this way but for some odd reason I really enjoyed it. It was as my gramma used to say "like doing a jigsaw puzzle". She was my personal tax lady and present wrapper among many other great things to me. But this year I sat down at my mom's and worked on them with her. Previously I've had them done by gramma, brent's dad, and once I actually paid H&R block, but I think from now on I'll stick to doing them on my own. Besides it's better then doing laundry....I effin hate laundry.

I found out that I was poorer then the poverty poor in our province I really should have been on social assistance of some sort. So after working out the numbers I should be ok with this new job. That says a lot though when you're working in a senior-ish position in retail and you're still below the poverty line. GROSS. So needless to say I'm getting a ton back from the govt. with their handful of sand that seemed to go deeper then just my pocket. HAHA I get it all back bwahahaha. What am I gonna do with my new riches? Pay bills that seem to never end. Maybe take a trip down to B.C. to see my favorite peeps. I dunno.
New stuff? I was putting some pink in my hair and my niece asked for some too so I got her to call her dad and he gave her the ok so we dyed her hair too. It was really faint, I didn't keep it in for long. But it was fun. I had a great day with her and her brother yesterday. Also I got a new position at my work. I took a pt position on a unit that helps people integrate back into society easily. I'm pretty excited about it. I can still pick up call in shifts but this just gives me some awesome extras like grantee of shifts, benefits, holidays, ect ect. I didn't even apply for the position so I was shocked with they offered it to me. :) must mean I'm doing something right.

quarantined infections

parts are under quarantine and I wanna say from zombies but it's just the flu. A friend sent me this cuz of the zombies and I think it's super cute.

smiles

had a wonderful day today. hung out with Biddi and went down town and went to my two favorite stores. had an interesting job offer that i'm considering. even got to chill with bosman for a bit and went out to a drink and a movie with the GSO then we hung out and he helped me with WOW. lol yeah I know I'm a nerd who needs as much help as she can get on this effin mac. But now I'm going to bed with a smile on my face cuz spending time with him makes me smile. but i have to get to sleep cuz i have a hair appointment tomorrow. I promise i'll post pics of last weekend and my new hair tomorrow after work (midnight).

keeper of da dayz and love

I have to say my life has been so much better since I started at the hospital. I come home happy just about every shift. And even after the not so great ones, I'm still happy at my job. :) I get up and ready for work looking forward to my day/evening/night and what it might bring because I know it's gonna be a great shift.

I've been working a lot of night shifts and going through books like crazy, any suggestions out there for books? I've read 9 this month alone. So bring on the suggestions!

also yesterday i got a calander in the mail! It's of Australia! From Australia! w00t! I'm a lucky gal, thanks 'frickin'du for the wicked keeper of the days!

top of the tops list for 2008

**~**running thru the forest looking for a pirate ship with glowstix & flashlights**~***


assult on the punk scene with Dallas going to a show once a week

accepting the losses of two of my heros, my gramma and sean aka guy smiley


BONANZA KINGS

meeting Tricia and having exciting conversation about Love

the drive to Edmonton after my bbq and breaking my finger in the process

my may long gong that ended up only because poptarts made a fire pit

roomates

princess leia

I <3rd
new careererz

12 cases of Cherry Coke

tom jones and the sc

accepting that certain people come into your life for only a short time to help you transition when it's the hardest

Collin turned 30

new car

Dominican with agent 00'raver

water slides

good food friends and laughs

found the bestest hugger/kisser everz
the young ones *cough cough*
Charlie the unicorn costume

Batman
phone calls from over seas
cupcakes
going to tim's party with the gso on a whim

and juno.

Tada.
Hopefully 2009 is a bit easier yet full of as much love and friendship as this.

stupid dayquil

so I felt like my face was falling off so I took a dayquil before I drove home from Edmonchuck, and now my bwain is saying "AWAKIE" and my body is saying "SHHHH SLEEPIES" and my neck is saying "OUCHIE" cuz the two of them not working together is a pain in the neck. UGH.

But it's ok cuz I had a super duper wicked awesome night. Worked on my fave adult psych unit for work then the GSO met me in Ponoka and we went to Edmonton to go see China Tim, for his quazy moving to Calgary house party. We got there at 2am and it was still in full swing. Met and hung out with some cool peeps and caught up with an old friend, and had a bit of an adventure. It was good good.

Got a rubik's cube this week from Dmaster. Me and the GSO went on a big search for one the other night and came up with nada, Dmaster found it right away then when the GSO and I went into Shoppers tonight we found one as soon as we walked in. SO anywho, I was on Facebook and talking to Kam, asked him what he was up to and he said "playing with my rubik's cube" oddly enough so was I since I just recieved it. Him and I always have weird coincidences together. ODD! But I love it. So yeah, that's my obsession right now is my rubik's cube. A guy on my adult pysch ward can solve it in no time and is trying to teach me how to do it, but it's still taking a pain stakingly long time. Oh well, practice practice practice I guess.

Thanks Dmaster for the new obsession I LOOOOOOVE IT!

I also just wanted to post a lil sumthin sumthin for ScottyB4Hotty cuz I know he's going through alot right now.

Dude you are one of my closest friends which is kinda neat since we just met this year. You're an amazing dad and a great friend. I'm sure you're making a great boyfriend to your new sweet heart too. You have an amazing soul and a huge heart. You've gotten me through some boring, tough and fun times. I appreciate you so much and am so greatful to have you in my life. Thanks for always being there since we met. You are super rad. *hugs* Thank you for all your zombie links and inspiring words. You rock! and one day we have to finish that DnD game we started with your kid.

I loooooove my new job

so I survived my first week as a psyche aide at the hospital. i totally love my job so much. it's absolutely amazing. for the first time i feel like i make a real difference to people and their lives. i'm so happy i chose to move forward in my life. today i had a dream dejavu and it was freaking awesome. made me feel like i'm in the right place at the right time. kinda helped that i had a super awesome weekend too! good food good people and yah i' have a perma grin this wed.

pens, godly actions and change

so today I worked at the big red machine woot woot and guess what I did! Now this is going to be hard to believe but it's true.

I SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINED A MANS LIFE TODAY!

Now for those of you who know me well, I'm not THAT MEAN. Now I do have a streak in me that has come out to do some not so nice things in the past. But to ruin a strangers life for a whole year is pretty big. And...well...I'm just little. I know there's a few people who I have hurt in the past or made a huge impact in their life but this was silly.

Our day timer refills haven't come in, well the main shipment. I've called the buyers, emailed them and all they say is that they are on the way....so yeah apparently because we didn't have the 2page per day ones today, it ruined this dudes life, but it wasn't the day timers fault it was the ye ol' powerful girl who controls time and space and datyimer refill replenishment and of course controls the world in which this man exists in there for destroying his year in obliteration beyond repair mwahahahahaha.

I felt bad until he started telling me for a 3rd time in a row how I should call the buyers and maintain the market in which purchases such things. Almost as crazy as me running the country of Montreal as a toothbrush. Sheesh.

things that made me smile today
cool photos of science
oilers winning
talking to friends
talking to cute boys
dirty bass
and

A CEPHELOPOD PEN!!!!

new rotation

so at work today we had some new songs on the muzak rotation and guess what the first one was! .... my T&S song that reminds me of Abs(call it off). good thing it doesn't make me bawl the way it used to. Now everytime I hear it I just smile and my heart feels warm.