thanks Dmaster, good thing we gotz it figured out .....

Narwhals

up and running?

so halloween came and went, it was actually really tough for me because it was the first halloween in 5 years that I didn't take abs trick or treating. it's not the worst thing in the world but when you figure i prolly only have another 2-3 years tops to take her out every year counts. but i had to work and without a roomate to help subsidise the rent (still have a hole in the wall to fix in the room that i'm renting go figure people don't like to rent a room with a hole in it, but they're happy with a hole aka a window?) i have to work all the shifts i can. which as of late has been 6 a week with an over time in there some where. *sigh*

so i didn't get to go out, i didn't get to wear the cthulhu costume i made, and yeah it sucked. it's my favorite day of the year and i spent it pretty much like all my other days but in a unicorn jacket, but honestly i wear that every so often just around the house. meh.

i just re applied for my job, if you don't know the story about the shamawz also known as my line at work, don't worry, you're lucky you haven't been victim to the subject. long story short i've interviewed for my position a few times now, and hopefully this is the last one. so keep your fingers crossed for me kiddies, my interview is on the 10th. sw00t.

speaking of work, i got my h1n1 shot, not before the flames, but prolly before most of the public. i wasn't going to get it originally, and honestly i don't think i needed to, i don't get sick. norwalk ran rampant through all the hospital last year and i didn't get it, my whole family has h1n1 but me, i just don't get it. but since i'm a health care worker i figured maybe i would, but i'm not getting the flu shot, although i am thinking about calling in autistic tomorrow since apparently that's the side effect from this puppy, not to mention my sore arm and yuck feeling.

i haven't been writing much because i haven't been able to concentrate on a whole lot lately. as most of you know i've been on a harsh regiment of antibiotics, and well as most of you know they throw me into a pretty heavy downward spiral, and the last thing i can do is come up with sentences to say or respond with let alone blog. but i'm feeling better finally. and things are looking up.

madd props go to all my friends for helping out with this, (Bosman,Dall, Pickles, amy kim, lancey, brenty, Dmaster, my work friends, the GSO(thanks for helping around my house) and) :AN for being so awesome and spoiling me rotten with dvds comics and a plant of daisies.

well i'll do my best to blog more this month but that shouldn't be a problem. but i'm off to bed i'm wiped. nighty night

Happy LoLoween

Happy Halloween gang. It's been kidna blah this year. I've worked on my cthulu costume

Owl City- Rainbow Veins

rainbow rainnnnnnnnbow something i needed this morning.

some photos from the past month

i find it odd how my eye color
changes on it's own free will

green

blue

the other bed my dad built

my head is still fogged in with bits of insanity. i can't wait for the antibotics to be done with the high does.

for the guy who smiles now only in my heart.

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x4]

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
Cos they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x8]

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you

I heard this remix and thought of you instantly. I miss you so much, I'm going through it again and I know you're there I can feel you. As my heart starts to race and I start to panic I can feel your hand on my heart slowing it down and guiding me through slowing my thoughts down enough to make sense of them, just like you always used to. I hope that you knew/know how much you mean to me. How much I appreciate you and how grateful i am for the time we spent together. I know there is nothing I could have done to change the out come of all this and I don't know if I can say I would have tried. I just hope you realize how much you truly are missed. Love you lots.

The world's deepest bin - Thefuntheory.com - Rolighetsteorin.se

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