got the bug

so i'm finally getting a passport again. i've been dying to go on a trip for the past year and finally gave in and went to edmonton with the gso and we applied. hopefully they don't decline either of us. that would suck. but i don't really see why either of us wouldn't get em. so now for the big task...where to go first with them? any ideas. money is a bit tight so no lavish cruises or trips around the world yet. maybe after i'm done school. who knows. vegas? seattle? i really wanna go to disneyland....but not everyone seems to be excited about that, mexico? costa rica? suggestions and tips and stories are more then welcome on this post gang. i'd love to go back to europe and do all the war stuff again or go hang out in the clubs or go visit a certain hot german girl. but i'll settle just a dip into the states and a case of cherry coke.

give hugs

i was just reading an article on the growing pains actor who took his own life

one of the comments was 'its sad someone has to die from an illness that is treatable' and while i know it is somewhat of a true statement that makes me angry


a lot of people in my proffesion would disagree but i don't think suicide is a selfish act and sometimes depression/mental illness isn't treatable, only delayed

its like instead of racing to the finish line (death) you're drugging someone up so they take longer to get to the finish line

sure this applies to only a handful of people but it does apply. after losing people who
are so close to me to this, i know i'll never fully understand
but i can empathize
and who are we to judge the limits of their
tolerance to the time they spent in the world.

don't get me wrong, drugs and counseling work wonders especially these days with the
new drugs we have, they really have made a huge leap/bound/stride in
helping cope with the illness but for some it just doesn't work.
by no means am i condoning or accepting suicide as an option,
i'm just saying i empathize with it.

so give hugs often and tell people in your life how important they are to you
and how much you appreciate them
it only results in good stuff.
everyone
remembers and enjoys that
even if they can't see past what they're going through.

twooo wuv

dmaster and i went to the young victoria tonight. it was absolutely amazing. Martin Scorsese produced it and i have to say i was completely in love with the whole production, direction and well, the entire film. there were shots that had no lines but spoke volumes about the queen and time and direction of the movie. the true story of queen victoria is beautiful and romantic and completely captured in this film. the idea of having letters written to you is something i always hold on to and dream of, to take care of each other always and to have that person to share the rest of your life with in love sounds like a fairy tale but they prove that it's real. maybe it is. sure makes a girl dream of true love again and have faith in following her heart. (which i always do anyways, but just reassures me that it's possible). thanks Dmaster for the independent film night. they've all been pretty rad but i have to say this one is the best....can't beat a great indy film for 7bux.

yayzers for homework .... that only lasted a day....

so i started school. bio30. i'm now on information overload. how did i ever learn all this stuff in the past? obviously i didn't do that good of a job on it the last year of high school but what can you expect from where my life was at that point. i graduated and that's what counts...sort of.

its a bit tougher than i expected but i'm gonna plug away at it and make it through because failing is not an option in my life at this point. i need to get this done and i need to succeed because i want to make a better life for myself. it's gonna work. it has to.

i will be a nurse.

but it's also made me realise how much i desperately need a weekend away in either vegas, disneyland, florida or even just the mountains. gawd i need a vacation.

grampa

thinking of you today, wishing you could have seen how i turned out. remembering our trips on the lake and the endless nights of you teaching me how to hula hoop, mend a shoe sole, and how to sneak candy out of the jar without getting caught. all the times i played in your shop you never shoo'd me out, you always taught me something new even though i was so small. you were so much fun, and saved me from so much hardship. you were there for me so often. i remember the day you passed and i thought i had killed you because i picked that day for my dolls birthday that past christmas, the doll you got me. (his name was andrew) i remember telling gramma what i had done years later, and that i should have picked a later date that year, and she replied 'oh don't be silly if you would have picked a later day he would have suffered longer, you picked a day when he had enough time to say good bye to all of us including you' and as silly as that thought is i hold it in my heart. i'm glad i was the oldest and got to spend the most time with you. i know that's selfish but it's true. you were a great great great man in my life and i miss you so much grampa. 21 years and it only seems like 1. i hope where ever you are, you're proud of me because you are a big reason why i'm so happy today.

goals, and video games set to the tune of chupacabra by chixdiggit

in other news i went to a kick ass show on the weekend with Dal. I PAID for both of us...no the world is not ending but i think as a result the Olympic torch lighting didn't go so well. oh well. it's only a multi million dollar international (world) event, meh.

the show was awesome, and thanks to serfx i managed to stay warm. all the bands were pretty rad and kicked it pretty hard. i really enjoyed dancing and singing all night, gawd i love punk rawk. went to a hockey game on sat with the gso and some friends. it was awesome we won, went to bo's and then played some mario bros all in all it was a stellar night. my druid even got some gems!!!! so yeah it was a great weekend, oooh and i forgot to say i ate some yummy sushi omg it was soooOOOOoooOOOoo good. ,

twas a gooder.

what a crazy weekend. went to west ed on all the scary rides, screamed my face off only to puke my guts out right after. went for a long nap. played video games with a super hot guy(friday). snuggled with a panda bear, drove home in two snow storms, hung out with the mini one, got snuggles from my nephew and had my fave dinner and cupcakes. but the highlight of my weekend had to be friday, full of a great day at work, movies with my older brother, and video games with the GSO. super duper wicked awesome.

Kareena Kareena

according to urban dictionary
Kareena: Word commonly used to replace it's synonym to "Rad".
That chick is kareena.

thanks for the link serfx that made everything better, that and the conversation that went with it. it's good to know someone out there gets it too. had a bit of a rough drive home tonight but had great supports from the gso my mommy and piper. i think my body is screaming for sleep and i just need to listen....i think a vacation is in order as well. vegas is looking better and better

someone made the statement that i put myself out there, and that it's an amazing ability. some days i think it's a curse

Deadly

on another note of the great day of the 28th of January (cough birthday cough cough) an author whom i've never really understood died. JD Salinger who wrote the classic Catcher in the Rye, which also happened to be our first and only book in our dead bookclub "reading is for awesome people". I figured it was short so it would be a good start but all of us lost interest in it and became quite annoyed at it. Now honestly part of me thinks that if a book can bother you that much maybe he accomplished his goal of bringing out emotion in the reader. Perhaps that was his goal to piss us all off at the character the whole time? Who knows and now we can't even really ask him because he died on my birthday. Why do people die on that day? My uncle passed on my birthday too the day I met my future ex husband....how odd. Anyways yeah I thought I'd throw that little bit in there.

the end. (literally for JD)