new rotation

so at work today we had some new songs on the muzak rotation and guess what the first one was! .... my T&S song that reminds me of Abs(call it off). good thing it doesn't make me bawl the way it used to. Now everytime I hear it I just smile and my heart feels warm.

bligity blog

Believe it or not I'm actually tossing out a ton of stuff these days. I think I've just had enough of carrying around all this crap. NO I am not getting rid of the Coleco or the Fabric, but I am getting rid of old furniture, stuff I don't use and things that I have no idea why I still have 'em. I also came to the conclusion tonight that I can now 100% see a paralle between me and Autumn. *the author of "a promise of hope" It's taken about 5 months and a bit but I'm finally at the point where I'm taking out the trash. I've finally allowed myself to let go of the garbage that has held me down for so long. Sounds corny but it's somewhat true. I've lived with this challange my whole life and for the first time I'm happy with all aspects of my life and I don't need all this stuff. Stuff that I'll never get to, stuff that was a good (crazy but good) idea at the time, stuff that I thought would make me feel normal. I've come to understand that this is something I'll always have to face but that I can finally see that it's a gift and not a curse. Now to just get rid of all this stuff. Yay!

Today was pretty rad, cleaned out some garbage, had one of my best friends stop by my work and hang out for a bit, hung out on the couch with a cute guy and watched a zombie movie while knitting a new hat for a super cute little girl I'm gonna try and meet for the first time on my days off coming up in a few weeks. :)

My dad comes to help me fix my fence tomorrow I can't wait to see him *yayzerz* that is all.

keep your money I want change

It's so gorgeous outside I wish I didn't have to go to work today. Andy aka Wheelleg sent me his new mix and now all I want to do is go drive around in my car taking photos of how beautiful it is in my city. I know I promised to send pictures to a few of you and I haven't forgotten, just been really busy lately and haven't been at home too too much. Everything is in the midst of change, job, leaves, house, myself, friends. I love it! Change is hard but change is always good good. :)

ps Happy Birthday Jaie! Hope you had a great day!

can't get it out of my head so I'd better put it here

http://www.mp3lyrics.org/F6AV Feeling like my life keeps hanging from a sting but there's no where I can turn to look for help and everything I wanted to come clear and every thing I used to fear is just a memory of the past and it's not long ago You walk alone, outside it's only you when you wake up from the nightmares, its always you The afternoon, the ghost's not there, the sun is blinding and the same rain fell on my roof not on hers and everything i would so did confess and everything that smells unconscious there is good luck spinning all around but it's not real You walk alone, outside, its only you when you wake up from the nightmares, its always you now you find you're in a world that's without you I can't believe I'd fight for you, for you You walk alone, outside the streets, its only you when you wake up from the nightmares, its always you now you find you're in a world that's without you I can't believe I'd fight for you, for you You walk alone, outside, its only you when you wake up from the nightmares, its always you now you find you're in a world that's without you I can't believe I'd fight for you, for you so I lost my back bone while I was in Calgary. I'm not sure where it went exactly but I think thanks to someone I of

winners

I had such an awesome day today, went for a run, got my eye brows done and walked around the hospital where I may have a new job. ;) Got to spend the day with my mom and best friend. We won Name that Tune tonight and Bosman and I had a great dinner at our usual place with our usual appi, salsa with a side of potato skins yummmmmy.

too broke to pee

so I just got back from the show in Etown, had a great dinner with Ron. Haven't seen him in over a year I think, we tried to remember the whole "ocare" scenario or was it ocre? I can't recall. But maybe "too tired" can figure out the holes in the story or maybe marky mark? all i remember is that I got a text message while waiting for you three and it was something about an ochre something and I was confused on it being a gourd while it was really a car? So none of this is going to make sense to most of the lot who reads this but I had to throw it out there.
Anywho....
I still have no idea what he's taking in school or what he's ever been employed at other then photography and some kind of alien autopsy scam or is it scheme? Yeah, needless to say my tummy hurt from laughing so hard through the dinner. (ps I didn't choke on my food once and nothing shot out my nose or spit out my mouth...almost but to no avail)

So off I go to meet up with Dallas, he was at Chilies having dinner so I joined him and the waiter gave me a free coke because of a big lebowski reference. Now that's a powerful movie!

We got to Ed's (formerly Red's) and saw the second best (tied for second) show I've ever seen EVER and the best show out of the ones we've been at this year. I got a super rad shirt and so did Dallas. I danced to EVERY SINGLE BAND and they all rocked it hard. Jesus made an appearance and Red Deer got a mention with The Real Deal but not in a good way. Flatliners were freaking stellar and I Can't say enough good things about them. Reel Big Fish were my favs of the night. I Freaking loved the whole set and Less than Jake were funny as heck. (heck is where you go when you don't believe in Gosh) Horns/Brass are my second fav instruments next to PIANO *swooon* I was in heaven all night! Thanks Dallas for the last month it was so much fun to hang out and see such wicked bands with you! I'm so lucky to have you as one of my best friends. You're rad. *hugs*




btw the too broke to pee, apparently you have to pay to pee in certain establishments but only in particular sections, the other less pretty section you don't have to pay, but they didn't tell me this until I was done peeing. After they were like "you need to pay" I told them I had no money and that's ridiculous. They said to use the facilities on the other side of the building then because these ones are for paying customers, as in paying to use the nice potty. LAME!~

ps. thanks for the key I love the tunes, and thanks for reviving my faith in Metalica xoxo

Booked

So we all know how I'm a huge nerd when it comes to reading. I read all the time and everywhere and anywhere. I'm addicted to reading. I really am. I read every genre but love non fiction the best. A few years ago I read Stephen King's Dreamcatcher with a friend at work. We decided to start this joint venture because, Staples, for some odd reason, was selling paper backs back then and it was one on the shelf so we just used the one on the shelf to read on breaks and talked about it after to kill time at work. SOOOO I decided to expand on that and get my friends to read books with me now, 5 years later, and we'll blog about them.

You're more then welcome to join in our book right now is JD Salanger's Catcher in the rye. Here's our blogspot that you can either join or follow along. Let me know if you want in! We'd love to have you! Either for this book or maybe an up coming one?

The Super Duper Book Club

Just click above and you're on our blog and we'll be blogging as we go so there will be spoilers. But funny stuff too cuz we're all pretty kooky kids.

wrapped in rainbows....

so yesterday one of my best friends sent me this video because it reminded him of me. I love this song. It reminded him of me because everytime this song would come on I would try not to cry because it totally makes me think of Abs. I rarely cry over her now. I think it's because I'm happy with myself these days and I'm super happy with having her in my life still. In honesty I have nothing to cry about it at all anymore. Everything is better then what I had imagined.

I know that it was the right thing and I know it's the best for both of us and I don't doubt that for a moment. But like most birth moms, (but not all) I can totally say without hesitation or sadness that I miss her, That I do wonder now and again what it would be like if she was here and things worked out that way. Then within 3 seconds I'm back to knowing this is the right choice, not only for her *my main concern* but for myself as well. Can't live in shoulda coulda woulda besides I know that this all happend for a reason and that I was meant to have and place her. I never thought I would love our relationship as much as I do and I never thought I would be as content with it as I am. :)

I love you with all my soul mini one. You're the rainbow in my heart that never stops shining.

also I'm starting a book club and we're reading catcher in the rye right now, so far it consists of two of us me and one which I bullied into making him buy the book to read it with me because he said it wasn't that big of a deal. So we call ourselves the

Bad Religion

Who else can talk about the CERN and finish a fight while rocking the good rock of punk rawk?

BAD RELIGION that's who.

Thanks mr. dallas. I had a great night with you last night. I'm sad to think our punk rawk excursions are coming to an end this weekend. :( But I know there will be more shows and more sleep (I'm getting old and actually have come to terms with the fact I need the stuff) to rest up for grand adventures.

ps you can't go to saskatoon to see BR without me ever!!! And again may I remind you this was number um.....15 this time :) still ahead but not by much.


In other news I'm super pissed I didn't think of this tat first but all I came up with was zombie marshmallows crawling up my foot to bite my ankles.

oh well Its still awesome. I love the blood especially.

Links to the past present and future

I love these ads that are going around for avg software. click me

They're so cute.

Also one more sleep till Bad Religion I'm so freaking pumped!!! Seriously, Face to Face, Rancid, Lagwagon, D.O.A., TaT, Creepshow, AKA's, Anti flag, and next week Reel Big Fish, Flatliners, and Less than Jake! I'm so freaking lucky. And get to hang out all those times with super rad folk like one of my best friends Dallas. Love it!

the other thing I love but have no link for is olive butter, ok well I just love the smell of my shaving lotion for my legs and it has olive butter in it so I'm not sure what makes it smell good but it sounds fun to say olive butter. lol Olive Butter....good night

Tis another post about things I love,

this add hugahacker.org

I heart Red Deer

So here's a more thought filled post. Hopefully you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them :)

<-----me with my super power Starbucks wrist band
to help me with my super mission so today was so gorgeous out I couldn't stay inside and do house work (yes I know that's what I should have done and should be doing since I basically have all my clothes on the floor.)

But I figured our journey for chi tea and Red Deer loving graffiti was more important (and more fun) The question that I broach to thee is : Should we embrace this graffiti as a form of self love for our deer city? It's never been on anything that is damaging, of historic buildings or churches. I like it personally. It's a positive message to our city.But I do see why It's frowned upon, since it is still graffiti and someone has to clean it up in the end. I just think people are scared of accepting a method of expression that they don't understand. I'm one of the first ones to hate "tagging" where a person just leaves their letters, but there's some amazing talented art out there and expression that is untapped because of peoples fear of graphic art that's not accepted. Now is this art? To some it is to some it's not. Who's to be the judge. The city, I guess has the final say. But to me I like it, especially since I've grown up in this city for most of my life. I do heart the Deer.

10 things I said about you .... or did I?

so I did this on my last blog and i'm gonna do it again, the 10 things I wanna say to 10 different people but haven't.....

1. your not my nemesis even though I still call you that
2. you really need to grow up for more then just yourself
3. I miss you everyday and think about you at least twice during each one.
4. You taught me to believe in myself and to follow my heart.
5. When I dream I dream in the colors we talked about, I dream of flying trucks and finding our secret hang out, you're not there as much but I still sit and wait for the first 4 mins which feel like days in dream time. But when you show up it's worth all the waiting.
6. marshmallows will never have the same meaning than kyou!
7. I would have gone with you and I lied when I said I didn't ever have any intention of it.
8. I still have the secret hidden note on my laptop you left. I wish you left more on there.
9. When you say my name my heart melts into mini globbed hearts that melt again.
10. I think you smell good.

So yesterday I went and saw some super rad bands, totally enjoyed the AKA's and Loved Creepshow and totally rocked it with Anti flag. And I've seen alot of great acts.

cuz you got me singing it and you know you are singing it too!

totally love this song right now thanks to a certain new member of the spice girls ;)

You're so Vain I bet you think this Post is about YOU

Today is one of those days where the pang of a lost love doesn't hurt the way it used to when you would see them or talk to them. You know that little ache that makes you hurt but at the same time it reminds you that you're still alive.

Had a dream about "u" the other night and it helped me get over all the hurt feelings I've been feeling since you left. I hope your doing great in your new home and your new life, I'm sure you're gonna get over 2008 like you did 1998.I'm sure "u" don't even read my blog but I wanted to get it down and out. *rubs her forehead with her index finger in the middle*

you're so vain I bet you think this post is about you

Today is one of those days where the pang of a lost loved doesn't hurt the way it used to when you would see them or talk to them. You know that little ache that makes you hurt but at the same time feel alive.