water is wet

Went to West Ed yesterday and had a blast. We went to the water park. I haven't been there in years. It was a lot of fun. Took a over creamed chi tea to a super special lady and got a wicked hug. Just had a super day all around. It was great to get out and live life after everything that's been reeling through my head the last week. I've lost a lot this year, and I'm still kicking. Gotta punch at the darkness till it bleeds daylight I guess they say. I just pick myself up and keep going. I know that's all I can do and I do it with a smile and a song in my heart. :) Publish Post

I can't sleep. I'm supposed to be sleeping, resting for tomorrow but I can't. My mind is racing, I finished my robot game now I need something new to keep me from thinking just before bed. I miss my nintendogs, and BoardGames. Tomorrow I'm going to Edmonton. Should be fun. I'm looking forward to doing something fun on my day off instead of house work or renovations as usual. I miss the good times that summer used to bring. I wish I had more time to enjoy it. July seems to have gone by so quickly. In 5

I'm just having a tough day. Nothing else left to say.

FUCK

I'm having a really hard time communicating today. I don't know what it is but I feel like no one is understanding what I'm saying. On top of that I'm still having a hard time with everything going on that it seems to just add to the frustration. I understand how someone can feel so alone in a world with hundreds of friends. I kind of fell like that myself at times. It's not that there isn't anyone there to talk to it's just a feeling inside, when your sick and you alienate your self from the world. I feel so lost right now. I can't even explain it. Mom just came over and helped me clean up my room but only half way, I still have no curtains up no pictures and everything is still in boxes. That's how everything is here, half done. I fucking hate it. I'd rather have a mess then have it empty with nothing there. Besides after I start looking for something everything will be back on the floor again. I can't stand this. And instead of listening and helping me finish it, she just gets confused and says she can't understand why I can't just leave it the way it is. I have people coming over on Wed and my house still is only half done. Dad keeps saying he's going to come and help and he never does. I just give up I just can't get it to work. Everyone helps out Marla get to the end result but no one helps me and it's just fucking annoying. And I just don't know how if sean couldn't do it then how can I, how can I be strong enough and have it together enough to finish this without quitting. He was so strong and I have so much less. I just feel defeated.

sittin in the sand pit life is a short trip

So tonight after everything was said done and cried over, I decided to watch a funny movie, as I was flipping through the channels on CABLE *it's still weird that I have it* I came across Napoleon Dynamite. It was at the part where Forever Young is playing at the dance. It was great until they started talking, IT ALL WAS IN FRENCH! It sounded hilarious. I'm not sure which I enjoy more for the song though, the original or the hhc version. Hmmmmm. :) As hard as today was, I'm sure this is only making me grow as a person.

Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune
The music's played by the mad men

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever? Forever young

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don't they stay young

It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth's like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
Let's dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune
The music's played by the mad men

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever? Forever young

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don't they stay young

It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth's like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever

So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?

to the greatest host Guuuuuuuy Smiley!

Bye for now, now that your not around, so many things I'd like to say.....

There are some people that come and go through your life and you connect and reconnect with them through the years. All of you who know me in realsies life instead of blogisphere life know that when I meet people I form a pretty solid connection. There aren't alot of faces I forget or names I don't remember. Tuesday I went home sick from work and woke up from a nap thinking of a certain friend. I thought 'you know I should call him, I really miss him and he was someone who connected with me on so many levels and has such an impact on my life.' I threw up and went back to sleep. Classy. But tonight I found out that he's gone. forever.

I haven't talked to him in months but he was someone you could go for periods of months without seeing him and we would be like we were never apart for less then a day. I had such deep, marvelous talks about life, direction, silly pants fun, and love. He had a passion that is rare in young people these days. His heart was full of it though. What happened is not to clear and is not really for anyone but him to know. I just think the world has dimmed slightly in our loss of such a great soul. His talent and charisma were shining and his care and concern for friends was huge. From our long talks I could tell he has a quiet side, one that was completely opposite from his dj alter ego. He was thoughtful and independent, careful yet carefree.

I'm gonna miss you more then you know SL/GS<3>Thankyou for being you and as the golden girls would say "thank you for being a friend" This is only bye for now, we'll meet up one day and you'll be playing "that song" and I'll be showing you my soul as we meet on the dance floor once again.

And just so that you all know, no matter what's going on in your life, how bad it gets or how great it is, you're always in my heart too. You're never alone, cuz I'm always with you in thought and heart. I love you guys. <3

=D

Had an amazing day today, hung out in the pool, got two new super duper wicked awesome cd's and had dinner with two great guys.

oops i did it again

went and saw batman's dark knight again last night, almost saw it a third time tonight with Bosman but it was sold out :( instead we went and saw Hellboy 2 the Golden Army. I loved it. Not as much as Dark Knight but it was impressive. My favorite part was with the tooth fairies. Which got me to find this which is a dead fairy. I love twisted stuff.... anyways....just thought I'd post about movies for the third night in a row. Pool party Tuesday and that's about it for now.

ooooh yeah I saw Dallas and met his friend, she's pretty and funny. Hung out with friends all weekend. Got some sun today in the pool, my dad and step mom stopped by to see the kiddies who were playing in Aunties pool. Pretty awesome weekend. :) Can't wait for tomorrow.

Do you Believe in Harvey Dent?! I do!

EPIC EVENT OF THE YEAR!



so I totally scooped these images off other's blogs. I hope they don't mind, because I have to say that the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life was tonight!

I won't spoil anything for anyone but I have to gush about how amazing both Heath and Christian were. Stellar, and the ever so gorgeous Maggie wowza! For the first time in a very long long time I believe in Comics again. I always loved the Dark side of the art and in this movie I put my trust. For the first time you cheer for the bad guy cuz he's just bad he's good and so messy he's tight. To anyone thinking of going:
STOP THINKING AND JUST GO!
Well worth your money not once not twice but I'd say 3 times! I'm going again on Sunday!

I'm just a girl with a lot on her plate.

Had the best burgers in Alberta made for me tonight by a great gal, it's awesome to have food (especially when it's yummy) cooked for you. I miss that. Went storm chasing and ate the grossest "milk" shake in the world, ended up tossing it out because it was just so sickening.

my love

I remember Jason Lee and Ed Templeton skating together in a video and falling in love with both of them, I wanted so much to be like them. LOL I still love watching them.

blackbird

I'm not sure exactly what this means but I've had 4 crows die on my property, like on my car, on my lawn, in my pool, ect. My step dad who's big into native tradition said it either means death or the bringing of bad news. Either way I'm not too excited about either prospect. I mean it's bad enough I have to clean the dirty bird off my stuff but it's another to have it bring more bad news. I dunno it's kinda freaked me out a bit.

Other then dead birds things are going pretty good good. I didn't exercise a whole lot last week and I'm totally paying for it this week. But I got back into the swing of things and I'm feeling a ton better. Funny how that happens. I'm just glad I found something that I can do for myself and feel better about. :)

Went to a random house party to meet some friends. It was interesting. Also went to Agent '00' ravers bday party, didn't stay too too long but it was good to see him, Liz, Dave, and Scott, Karen and Clint. I'm glad I went. Also had fun showing Kirk that I can have 0 table manners. Yay.

Lego Darth Vader Canteen Incident

just too cute and too funny, I watched this a few times but finally thought hey maybe you'd like to see it too! it's not happy hardcore yay. lol

So what's everyone doing this weekend? I'm going to Edmonton, Calgary and yesterday I took down the copy center. That's about it. Now I want a chocolate cuppy cake after all that. Off I go

the original pimpette

I saw the coolest thing, this el cameno all done up to the 9's the only thing odd was this '88 olympic sticker on it, then you see the driver and it's this little old lady about 75 or older, she just looked over and smiled it was awesome.

reminds me of two amazing men in my life

the cheesy moves remind me of Mike and the words and song remind me of Agent'00'Raver always loved the duet version male vocalists are so yummy.

I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You have done in your life
Baby I'll always be here by your side
Don't leave me waiting too long
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you someday;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are

Every day and every night,
I always dream that
You are by my side
Oh, baby, every day
And every night,
Well I said everything's
Gonna be alright
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

You are, are, are, are, are, are
You are, are, are, are, are, are

Dream of me
I still believe in your eyes
I just don't care what
You've done in your life
Baby I'll always
Be here by your side;
Don't leave me
Waiting too long,
Please come by
I, I, I, I still believe in your eyes;
There is no choice,
I belong to your life
Because I will live
To love you some day;
You'll be my baby
And we'll fly away
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

Every day and every night,
I always dream that
You are by my side
Oh, baby, every day
And every night,
Well I said everything's
Gonna be alright
And I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you,
I'll fly with you

I have to....

I love this track, I haven't posted a ton lately, so I figured while I was posting a post I'd throw some tunes on too. I love the lyrics and the piano I hope you do too. I copy and pasted the lyrics so they could be wrong I have to run so I'm not checking them if you notice a mistake leave a comment and I'll fix it.

This is true well then
What will I think?
Will I stay?
Or rather I would get away
I'm scared that, I won't find a thing
And afraid I'll turn out to be alone
But I

I have to learn
Have to try
Have to trust I have to cry
Have to see
Have to know
That I can be myself

This is true ???????
What will I think?
Will I stay?
Or rather I would get away
I'm scared that, I won't find a thing
And afraid I'll turn out to be alone

Turn up the music music (x12)

????????????????
Do I know what's right?
Thought I knew
But it turned out the other way
I am scared that, I won't find a thing
And afraid I'll turn out to be alone
But I

I have to learn
Have to try
Have to trust I have to cry
Have to see
Have to know
That I can be myself

This is true
What will I think?
Will I stay?
Or rather I would get away
I'm scared that, I won't find a thing
And afraid I'll turn out to be alone

blupt date

It's been so long since I posted, I've just been so incredibly busy, my brother moved in with me, my sister broke up with her boyfriend, I've been working more and trying to take in as much of the summer fun as I can. I also got a new phone so if your on my face book, the number is up there, and if your not (dallas) I'm sure that you already have it. I've been running and biking a lot this summer, and visiting my friends. I sure miss Edmonton and still really want to move there. It just seems to fit me better then anywhere else. But I don't know, I do know but I am stalling for some reason on doing it. I want to go into diagnostic imaging and I just need to thrust my self into it. I have an interview for art school next week but I'm not really that excited about it, I'd much rather go into diagnostic imaging. So we'll see what happens. OOOhhh I got a pool and a good friend moved away (kinda bummed but gotta keep going) got a newish bike and loving my car. Talk to you sooner then the last time.

K